Solving the Mystery

Solving the Mystery (also called Mystery Solved) was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in July 2006. The segment was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 'Ten Days Ago…

''On a private airfield near Cancun, a Beechjet 400A has rolled to a stop, and the passenger door opens. Wevv Mang steps out, followed by Mr. Wang. A group of men in suits stands next to a stretch limousine. Wevv descends the stairs and steps over to the men. One smaller man stands in front of two larger men, wearing sunglasses, and looking over the surroundings.

Man: Buonas diaz, Senor Wevv.

Wevv: English please. You are Mr. Rojas?

Man: I work for Mr. Rojas. He sends his regrets that he cannot meet you personally, but I assure you, you needs will be met. We hold Mr. Lobo in high regard.

Wevv: I see.

''Wevv reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He dials a series of numbers, and waits. The lackey has a sickly smile on his face. Mr. Wang looks over the guards and sniff insultingly. Finally, Wevv speaks.

Wevv: Senor Rojas. Sorry to disturb you. Do you know who I am?...No? Allow me to introduce myself. I am Wevv Mang. I am also known as Le Dragon Blanc. You know that name? You do? You want proof? Certainly.

''Wevv motions to Mr. Wang, who makes a call on his own cell phone.

Wevv: Access your private Swiss account. A deposit was made recently from a mutual friend of ours. That deposit has been retracted. Oh, got your attention did I? Now listen to me. I do not deal with underlings. Do I make myself clear? Good. Make that clear to your lackey. Good day to you.

''A sudden ringing from the smaller man’s coat pocket brings a startled expression. He answers it, and speaks in Spanish. He answer’s quickly, but seems to be cut off at every turn. Wevv smirks and moves over to the passenger door.

Wevv: get the door, will you. I have seven days, and a lot needs to be done.

'Seven days later…

''Rex Smith is standing on the docks of an expensive resort. He’s holding a flyer in his hand. He looks at it, and slowly moves down the pier. He comes a boat that has a sign on the dock that advertises parasailing.

Rex: Hello? Is anyone there?

Captain: Si! You here for a free parasailing lesson senor?

Rex: Yeah! I got this flyer..

Captain: Oh Si Si! Come aboard! You must be Senor Smith? Si! We’ve been expecting you! Would you like a cerveza?

''Suddenly, two men appear on the dock. They are wearing shorts, straw hats, and carrying a cooler.

Man: AHOY! Is this the boat for parasailing?

Rex: Mr. Mang? Is that you?

Wevv: Who? Rex? Is that you? What are you doing here? My, what a small world!

Rex: I thought you were in Italy.

Wevv: I was. But I needed a break, and well, business follows me everywhere. What on Earth are you doing here?

Rex: Oh, I won a contest. The missus is too scared to try parasailing, but I always wanted to try it.

Wevv: Well, tell me all about it. Looks like we’re the only ones. We’ll have plenty of time while we head out to sea. Let’s cast off.

'Two hours later…

Wevv: You’re doing fine Rex! These headphones are great! Yeah! You can see for miles! Just hang in there buddy! HA HA!

''Wevv flicks a switch.

Wevv: Well Rex is having a blast. Time to have our own little fun, eh Mr. Wang? Miguel! How far are we from land?

Miguel: We’re very far from land, Senor.

Wevv: Good. Shall we begin then?

''Mr. Wang starts bring up barrels from below deck. He starts to pour them over the side. A strong fish smell washes over the deck. Mr. Wang starts to sing. Wevv looks over at him. Mr. Wang smiles, and shuts up. Wevv laughs and starts to sing along with him. It’s an old Japanese fishing song. The two men pour barrel after barrel over the side. A beeping comes from the radio.

Rex: Hey! What’s that red stuff in the water?

Wevv: Nothing to worry about Rex! It’s just a dye we use to mark the landing zone.

Rex: I thought they pulled us onto that landing deck?

Wevv: They do, but we thought you might like to have a real adventure. We reel you in, and then you pull the cords and drop into the water. It’s cool. Trust me.

Rex: I don't know about that, I think I’d rather-

''Wevv shuts him off.

Wevv: Miguel! Just circle around while we wait for our party guests. Mr. Wang? Get the rifle.

'Ten minutes later.

Wevv: How you doing rex?

Rex: I think I see sharks!

Wevv: I’m sure you do Rex. Hey Rex, now that I got you alone, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. Do you remember something that happened a couple of months ago?

Rex: Not really! I think I’d like to come down now! I can see a lot of sharks! I’m kinda scared!

Wevv: We’ll get to that. Just answer the question!

Rex: Um, what question?

Wevv: (Hissing into the microphone) You know DAMN well what question! You had the best view of what happened! You were in that hallway SECONDS before Mr. Wang was attacked! YOU KNOW WHO DID IT! NOW TELL ME! WHO ATTACKED MR. WANG!

Rex: I didn't see anything! Let me down! Please!

Wevv: You want to do it the hard way? Reel him in a bit Mr. Wang.

''The winch starts and Rex starts dropping lower.

Wevv: Now. Can you see Mr. Wang? Do you see what he’s holding?

Rex: Don’t shoot me! Please!

Wevv: He’ll only wound you,. Then our fishy friends will finish you off. Or, I could just let you go. Do you feel lucky Rex? You might blow all the way to Cuba. Then again, you might not. Now, tell me! Who attacked Mr. Wang!

Rex: He’ll kill me!

Wevv: And I won't? Look around you Rex! It’s just you, me, Mr. Wang, and the sharks! I’m right here! Last time Rex! Who did it! TELL ME!

''The wind dies, and Rex starts to sink towards the water. Over the radio, Wevv can hear Rex scream in fear.

Wevv: Easy there Rex! You don't want to trip the release catch do you? Tell me Rex.

Rex: OK! OK! REEL ME IN! PLEASE! IT WAS –

'Two hours later…

''A shaken Rex is huddled on the boat, as Mr. Wang and Miguel carry equipment to the dock.

Wevv: Thank you Rex. You did the right thing.

Rex: He’ll find me! He’ll..he’ll..kill me! You have to protect me!

Wevv: No. You had your chance. You just had to tell me all those months ago. I could have helped you then. It’s much too late now. You made you choice. Live with it. A word of advice? Run. Run very far away. I’ll see that you get your severance pay, but I’d wouldn’t wait for that. Start now, and don’t stop.

''Wevv leaves the boat, while Rex pulls himself into a bundle of misery and fear.

''As Wevv walks down the dock next to Mr. Wang he speaks.

Wevv: I should have known. It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. Mr. Wang, we have much work to do, and time is running out. Have the jet made ready and let us pay a visit to Mr. Rojas. I want to know if Rex was being watched. The game is a foot, and we have many Plans to make…

'''Fin…