LPW Newsblurb

The sun begins it’s climb above the eastern horizon in Praia da Marinha. The hills make the sun rise later, but the current renter of the villa has already been awake for quite some time, and is, in fact concluding a meeting.

The man sits on the patio, and is wearing a headset, as he sits in the lotus position. The small video camera catches his rhythmic breathing, and shows his slow and steady movements. On the large screen, four pictures in pictures show boardrooms, with people clustered at one end of a long table. Mr. Wang stands across the pool from Wevv, and makes his rounds, an earbud attached to a listening device, making sure that nothing from the meeting can be heard by outside sources. On the screen, a group of Asian men are finishing up their presentation.

Asian Speaker: … our projected revenue is higher than anticipated. Undoubtedly due to our…new partners.

Wevv: No need to play coy, Haruo. We’re all friends here. Sanbu and his friends are enjoying the benefits of access to the Chinese Black Market. The Chinese gangs are enjoying the benefit of being able to clean their money through our friends. It’s a mutually beneficial enterprise. And they said that the Japanese and Chinese could never get along. And sorry to cut you short Haruo, but I have a very busy day ahead of me. Bottom line, we’re making money, and things are good?

Haruo: Er. Yes, Wevv-san.

Wevv: Good. So that’s a clean sweep. Europe is exceeding profit expectations. Correct?

A blond man and a dark haired woman in the lower left both nod, and speak assent.

Wevv: South America?

Three dark skinned men, and two dark skinned women in the upper right hand corner nod, and speak assent.

Wevv: Our International Office?

Two men and two women in the upper left hand corner look up form their notes and agree.

Wevv: Splendid! Now, I know the situation with North Korean is very tense right now. But I will speak to our Chinese and Russian friends and see if we can get this business sorted out. Overall, I say excellent work people. We’re sitting pretty in a buyers market. The Investor’s Club will be more than relieved. Now gentlemen and ladies, the hard part is now upon us.

A buzz breaks out in the boardrooms. An accents voice speaks up, and the mic catches it.

Voice: Hard part?

Wevv: Yes. The hardest part of all. Previously, we were scrambling, dancing and gambling with huge amounts of capital. Now. The pace has settled down. We’re not out of the woods yet. Not by a long shot. But the time has come to now do the hardest thing, after that frantic pace. And that is… to wait and watch.

Nervous laughter from the boardrooms.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Indeed. It will be hard. The markets appear steady. There are a good many deals and opportunities out there, but we cannot act on all of them. No, we are strong, and the tendency is to snap up the weak. But some of those weaklings are weak from poison. Poison that can take even us down. No, we must hold off on impulse buying. Not on everything. But we will do our research, and if we must act in haste, we will limit ourselves. Do you understand?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Agreements ring out. Wevv slowly stands. The camera tilts automatically to follow him. Wevv starts to stretch.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Excellent. Again, well done everyone. I will need a full report from everyone, so that I can present it to the Investor’s Club at the Spring Solstice retreat. Haruo, Shin, keep me advised of the situation. I will do likewise. It will not do to have a small-scale nuclear conflict at this time. Let’s make sure that does not happen. Good day gentlemen and ladies. Again, well done, and hold on to your patience. The ride is not over yet. Wevv Mang out.

<p class="MsoNormal">''The screen darkens and Wevv removes the earpiece. He tosses it on to a nearby table. He then bends at the waist, and grabs the back of his knees and measures his breathing. He then straightens up. He starts to do small stretches. Mr. Wang walks over towards Wevv and keeps on eye on the surroundings. The sun has risen above the horizon, and the courtyard is dappled with ever moving patches of shadow and light. A breeze starts to kick up. As Wevv finishes his warm up, the patio door opens and Madison steps out.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: How was the meeting?

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: It went well. Are you ready to entertain the Minister of Tourism?

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: I don’t see why I have to do it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Because, my dear, Portugal has become a tourist hot spot for Europe. Our friends in Cuba could use the experience and knowledge that the Minister has in creating that type of momentum. We are looking at expanding our European tourism base in Cuba. I selected YOU because I know a few things about the minister, and well, you ARE an attractive young woman with very nice…charms. Consider it part of your training. Appearing to be something other that what you are.

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: I still don’t like it –

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: I didn’t say you had to.

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: But I’ll do it. Oh, and I thought you should know. There’s some guy watching the house. He’s been there for a couple of hours now. Since I’ll be busy, I just though I’d pass that on. Just so you know.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Madison turns in a huff and heads back inside. Wevv looks at Kenzo and raises an eyebrow. Mr. Wang just shrugs, and heads inside, while Wevv finishes up his tai chi stances.''

<p class="MsoNormal">''A short while later, Wevv is standing beside Kenzo at the front of the cottage. Kenzo is peaking through the blinds. Wevv is sipping from a glass of orange juice.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Well?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Kenzo nods his head and points with the hand not holding the blinds. Wevv leans forward and squints through the blinds. He raises an eyebrow to Wevv.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Pfft. That’s not Villiano. That’s the Baron. No, don’t give me that. I know no one has ever seen Villiano without his mask on, but come on. That’s obviously the Baron. The bald head gives him away. Stealth was never that man’s strong suit. But I think he’s spotted us.

<p class="MsoNormal">Outside:

<p class="MsoNormal">Baron: Damn. They spotted me. I better call Lou and let him know.

<p class="MsoNormal">Inside: 

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: No! You’re wrong! Look, I know Villiano! He’s one of a handful of men who started out before me in this business. He and I have crossed paths many, many times. He’s one of the few men I actually respect. That’s not him out there. First of all, there’s no way he would wear a dress.

<p class="MsoNormal">Outside: 

<p class="MsoNormal">''A large black man is walking along the street, holding a piece of paper and looking at the numbers on the house. A motorcycle with a sidecar speeds by him, almost hitting him.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B: HEY! Watch it you son of a bitch! Jeez. People in this country are nuts. Driving like that with a kid in the sidecar. Oughta be ashamed of themselves. Aw dammit! Now I lost where I was! What house was that? Shit. I’ll find you Wevv. Think you can take me out. Fucking Cash Flo and his damn bounties. I want this. Bad, and I always get what I want!

<p class="MsoNormal">Inside: 

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: No, spying is more of a NPD type of thing. But I’ll tell you what. Villiano is going to try something. He knows what’s at stake in this match. He’s going to come at me, and come at me hard. We can’t let up our guard. Thank goodness our bigger business is over, because now I can focus on getting that title. And just in time. Villiano, you son of a bitch. Why now?

<p class="MsoNormal">Kenzo shrugs.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: HA! Even I don’t have an answer for that. But what matters is that it’s happening now. No, we have to do something to throw off their game. Make them relax their guard for a bit. But what?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Wevv finishes his orange juice is a large gulp. He walks over to the counter to set down the glass and the TV catches his gaze. He watches for a few moments and then mutters as he starts to turn back to Kenzo.''

<p class="MsoNormal">[IMG]http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/1007/screenshotfml.jpg[/IMG]

<p class="MsoNormal"> Wevv: I love that movie. Kenzo….No. Oh no. You remember what happened in Minsk?

<p class="MsoNormal">''But it’s too late. A blast of trumpets is heard.''

<p class="MsoNormal">DA - DUMMMM!!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Kenzo wearing his suit, sunglasses, and trademark bowler hat steps forward quick as a snake and slaps a hat on Wevv’s head and sunglasses on his face.

<p class="MsoNormal">Another blast of trumpets is heard.

<p class="MsoNormal">DA – DUMM!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison enters the room. The sounds of horns comes to a sudden stop.

<p class="MsoNormal">[IMG]http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/6075/sofia4.jpg[/IMG]

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: What was that noise…..Oh no.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Wevv looks at Wevv and Kenzo. Wevv is suddenly dressed in a black suit, as is Kenzo. Both are wearing hats and sunglasses.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: That’s it. I’m getting dressed

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Now Madison! It’s not what you think.

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: Hijinks?

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Well –

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: Right. I’m changing. Screw that old bastard.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv; Madison! I order you to do the job I assigned you to do!

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison: But!

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: No buts! Your job is very important! One might even say critical to the long-term success of our mission! Now, do you want to jeopardize everything to run around like a stupid jerk? No? I thought not! Now, I would advise you to go out the back. This could get embarrassing.

<p class="MsoNormal">Madison looks angry, but she clenches her jaw, grabs a scarf off the back of a chair and stomps away.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: I hope she doesn't give the Minister a heart attack. Damn. All right, now where were we?

<p class="MsoNormal">Outside: 

<p class="MsoNormal">''The motorcycle has come to a stop in an alley a block away from Wevv’s bungalow. The driver and passenger are having a discussion with the Baron.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: He saw you?

<p class="MsoNormal">Baron: Da!

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Damn. That means he’s on to us.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: He already was, but now he knows that we know that he knows that we’re going to try something.

<p class="MsoNormal">Baron: What?

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: It’s complicated. All right Vil, what’s the plan then?

<p class="MsoNormal">Baron: Uh, guys? That looks like Big B, and he’s heading towards Wevv’s villa.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: You sure?

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano goes over to stand next to the Baron, peeking around the corner at Wevv’s Villa.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Yep, that’s Big B all right. Lou – Damn!

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: No time for fancy planning Vil! This oughta take care of them! Two birds, one stone! HA HA HA!

<p class="MsoNormal">A loud whoosh is heard.

<p class="MsoNormal">At that moment:

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B stands outside of Wevv’s Villa.

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B: This is the place. Looks nice. Well, time to go say hello.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Big B smacks his fist into his palm, kicks open the gate, walks up the path, and up to the door. He raises his hand to bang on the door, when a loud sound makes him turn and look over his shoulder.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B: Oh SHIT!

<p class="MsoNormal">The door opens.

<p class="MsoNormal">At that moment, inside:

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: OK. Ready? Here we go.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv clears his throat.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: It’s 56 Kilometers to the USS Bainbridge. We’re being stalked by a crazy luchadore and his pose. We have no wheels, no cigarette, it’s daylight, and we’re wearing sunglasses.

<p class="MsoNormal">''A blare of trumpets is heard. Wevv nods at Kenzo who nods back. Both men walk to the front door, while mood music accompanies them. Wevv opens the door.''

<p class="MsoNormal">''And quickly ducks aside as a rocket flies past his head, slams into the back wall, and explodes. ''

<p class="MsoNormal">Outside:

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Holy shit! You killed them!

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: (throwing the rocket launcher aside) Let’s go!

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano quickly hops on the bike and kick starts it.

<p class="MsoNormal">Baron: Wait! Where am I supposed to sit?!?!

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Every man for himself baldy!

<p class="MsoNormal">''The motorcycle speeds off, with the Baron running behind them. Lou watches the Baron over his shoulder. He finally turns back and yells at Vil.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: He’ll be fine! He’d make better time if he kicked off those high heels, but he sure can move in that dress!

<p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile:

<p class="MsoNormal">''The rubble of the cottage moves, and Wevv and Mr. Wang emerge. Mr. Wang starts to brush the dust off of Wevv’s suit. Wevv returns the gesture but then looks at his watch.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Damn! We’re going to be late! Come on!

<p class="MsoNormal">''The two men scramble over the debris and head to the curb. Wevv raises his hand and a taxi stops at the curb. The driver leans out his window.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Taxi Drive: Hello my Babies! You need a ride my babies? Let Hassan be your guide, my babies! I know everywhere babies!

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv opens the passenger side as Mr. Wang circles the cab towards the driver’s side.

<p class="MsoNormal">Taxi Driver: Hey! You no can do that babies! I am the driver babies! I drive the cab!

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Not today! We’ll bring it back in one piece. Let’s drive.

<p class="MsoNormal">Taxi Driver: Oh, OK babies! It’s a movie, right! You’ll bring my cab back in one piece, right babies? I’ll wait here, OK babies?

<p class="MsoNormal">The cab peels out, and leaves a trail of rubber and smoke down the street.

<p class="MsoNormal">Taxi Driver: I’m never seeing my cab again….

<p class="MsoNormal">The rubble behind him moves and Big B stands up with a loud groan.

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B: Mother FUCKER! That shit hurt! Where did those punk asses go?

<p class="MsoNormal">Taxi Driver: hello, my baby!

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B: What the_?!?

<p class="MsoNormal">Taxi Driver: You looking for your friends, baby? They stole my can and left, baby! Look, baby, how can I be in this movie, baby? I am very movie-genic baby, I get small role, baby?

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B: I don't know what the hell you’re talking about, but you can tell me where Wevv and that bitch of his went, right?

<p class="MsoNormal">Taxi Driver: Of course baby! They went to the USS Bainbridge! You need a ride baby? My cousin Achmed, he good driver, baby, not as good as Hassan, but still good, you want me to call him baby?

<p class="MsoNormal">Big B: You do that. And if you call me baby one more time, you’ll have to drop your pants to talk, because your head will be up your ass.

<p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile, a few blocks away at a food truck.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: I can’t believe you Lou. What the hell was that?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Villiano takes the two servings of octopus on a stick from the vendor and hands them to Lou and an out of breath Baron. He then pays the man. Baron is hunched over and gasping for breath.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: What? It took care of the problem didn’t it? All we have to do now is take care of Shock and we’re in the clear!

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: A rocket launcher?

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Hey, TWO at once! They don’t call it Body Count for nothing! HAHAHAHA!

<p class="MsoNormal">''Lou nudges the Baron and takes the stick from Villiano. He looks at the Octopus.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Oh, I get it. I’m just trying to figure out when you went batshit crazy on me.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Pfah! Please! Crazy? Me? No way. Shooting people with a rocket launcher is normal compared to some of the shit that’s gone on around here. It’s my duty. As your Agent it is my duty to protect my client. You want to be champion, right?

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Well, yeah.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: OK then. You let me take care of business then. You just worry about the wrestling. You can take care of that right? You don't need me to….

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Seriously? You don’t think I can take of Shock, one on one? Lou. Come on.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Good. Now what the hell is this?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Lou shakes the octopus on a stick at Villiano. The Baron is still hunched over, gasping for breath. ''

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: You asked for it. That’s what I got you. Octopus on a stick. Why you wanted it I have no idea.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: I did?

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: In Portuguese. Like, a minutes ago. You said “ Hey, let’s stop for some Octopus on a Stick.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Damn. I need more practice on my Portuguese. Hold on. Why did you get one for the Baron then?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Villiano starts to speak, but he cuts off as a taxi roars by them. Lou and Villiano both look at each other, and then Vil jumps on the bike, and Lou hops in the side car. Villiano starts the bike, and Lou pulls out another rocket launcher.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: That was Wevv and Wang.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Good thing I always carry a spare. Baron! Let’s go!

<p class="MsoNormal">''Villiano peels out after Wevv on the bike. The baron groans and takes a few steps, before he stops and looks at the driver of the food truck. He grabs the driver and tosses him out of the truck and hops behind the wheel. He starts to pull away, when a taxi roars past him. The back of the car is dragging on the ground, and an Arab man leans out the passenger side window yelling at the top of his lungs. The Baron shakes his head and pulls out and guns the motor.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile:

<p class="MsoNormal">''The stolen taxicab roars along the streets of Lisbon. Mr. Wang is behind the wheel. Wevv is relaxing in the passenger side, watching the buildings go by.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: You can really appreciate the elegant style of 18th century Pombaline in the architecture around here. You just don’t get that anywhere else.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Mr. Wang suddenly shifts the wheel and the car jerks. Wevv turns and looks behind him. He sees Villiano on a motorcycle with Lou in the sidecar. Lou is holding a rocket launcher. The rocket launcher goes off. Mr. Wang turns the wheel, and the rocket flashes by the car. It explodes down the road.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: It's Villiano. Loose him.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Mr. Wang violently turns the wheel and slams on the breaks. The car turns, slides to a near stop, and tips up on a two wheels, before shooting forward into the freshly cleared path on side streets deeper into the city. The following motorcycle shrieks to a stop. ''

<p class="MsoNormal">''A taxi suddenly skids and slams into a building trying to fit into the narrow gap. The Arab man starts yelling at the driver of the car, who yells back in Arab. A larger voice yells from the back of the car in English. Finally the car backs up and straightens itself out, and then takes off down the street, and then takes a violent left, following the direction Wevv and Mr. Wang went. A little while later, a seafood lunch truck barrels down the road and then takes a violent left as well. A Portuguese man is chasing the truck on a bike. That man is followed by a kid on a skateboard. Who is followed by a nun riding a horse. Who is followed by – ''

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Hijinks! That crafty son of a bitch! I never thought Wevv would stoop to using those!

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Should we keep up the chase?

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: No. I really don’t want to get stuck in the middle of that. Besides, we know where he’s going.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: What about the Baron?

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: He’s on his own. Let’s ride.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Vil slowly sets out on the motorcycle, while screams and the wail of sirens starts up behind him. A large explosion causes him to look over his shoulder in time to see a fireball rise into the sky. A few seconds later, live chickens start to rain down around him. Lou shudders.''

<p class="MsoNormal">A little while later…

<p class="MsoNormal">''Villiano and Lou are on the dock beside the USS Bainbridge. Armed guards stand at attention beside a gatehouse. Beyond the gate, happy civilians go about their business. A man sells gelato to eager pedestrians. Villiano and Lou make their way up the gangplank to the deck of the Bainbridge, where a television crew conducts interviews with the crew of the vessel.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: I told you we would beat Wevv here. You ready for your close-up, Champ?

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Yeah.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: What’s wrong?

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Nothing, I’m just waiting for - -

<p class="MsoNormal">A musical blues jam starts to play faintly, but grows louder by the second. - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kM7C_yNlCLU

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Speak of the devil.

<p class="MsoNormal">A sound of sirens slowly grows louder. Solider and Civilian alike both turn towards the growing noise. Down on the dock, a flashing horizon appears. Hundred of police cars chase a beat up taxi cab, being chased by another taxi. The second taxi has lost it’s roof, and two Arab men are seen yelling at each other, while in the back, Big B yells at the two men. They are being chased by a food truck driven by the Baron, who is still wearing his dress, but has been joined by a goat, riding shotgun. Police helicopters rush by over the dock towards the action. Men flock to the side of the ship to watch the action.

<p class="MsoNormal">On the dock, the lead taxi crashes through vendor stalls, ending merchandise flying through the air. The car heads straight towards the gelato vendor. At the last minute, the car slams on it’s breaks and goes into a bootlegger reverse, which causes the car to flip backwards over the gelato cart. Two hands reach out on opposite sides of the car as it flips over the cart. They grab two cones. The car completes it’s flip and lands, does another spin out and goes on it’s way. The second taxi slams into the cart, causing an explosion of gelato to cover everyone. As the food truck rushes through the void, the Baron reaches out and grabs a cone from a kid. In it’s place, he puts an Octopus on a stick. The kid looks at the octopus and starts to cry. Parents grab the child and rush to safety as the horde of police cars starts to run through the scene.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: Nice move by the Baron.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano:  But Wevv’s running out of dock.

<p class="MsoNormal">Indeed, the lead taxi quickly approaches the edge of the dock. The car shrieks to a halt, and starts to reverse, but the second taxi blocks their way. The lead taxi starts to try and circle around, with the second in pursuit. The food truck then blocks their way. The three vehicles start to run in a circle as the police cars close in and seal off escape. Suddenly, the first taxi straightens out, right at the line of police cars. It hits a vendor stall and goes airborne. It lands on top of a Portuguese police car. It rolls over the hood and onto the next, and so on.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Would you look at that? He’s driving on top of the police cars!!

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv and Mr. Wang ride along the top of the police cars, until they hit a gap. The car nosedives to the pavement, rolls forward and then flips over again to land on their wheels. A peel of smoke and a shriek of tires proceeds the car running forward towards the gangplank.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: They’ll never make it!

<p class="MsoNormal">On the dock, a caravan of police tanks blocks off the gangplank, and soldiers and policemen form a wall of weapons pointing at the taxi. The taxi swerves aside at the last minute and slams into a slighted tilted sign that forms a small ramp.

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou: No way.

<p class="MsoNormal">The car hits the ramp and takes off into the air as if launched by a rocket. The car flies straight up. Heads turn to follow the slow progress. The car flies through the air towards the deck of the USS Bainbridge. On the dock, the second taxi hits the same ramp and takes to the air. The food truck follows in pursuit. Then a horde of police cars, but the first one just crashes into the ramp and continues on to fly off the edge of the dock into the water. On the deck, the heads of Villiano and Lou follow the progress of the taxis they soar over their heads. The second taxi crashes into a passing ship, hitting it in the mast. A groan of steel is heard, and then the ship slowly tips, and keeps on tipping, to finally wind belly up in the water. Hassan and Achmed emerge from under the waves, and start yelling at each other in Arabic. Big Bi then emerges from the water, grabs both men, and pushes them under the water.

<p class="MsoNormal">The food truck sails over the ship and crashes into a passing garbage scow. The truck is buried under the garbage. The Baron crawls from under the pile of garbage seconds later. The sound of flies is nearly deafening, but the comments of the Baron can some how be heard.

<p class="MsoNormal">Baron: Ugh! Smells better than the food on that truck though.

<p class="MsoNormal">Goat: Baaaa!

<p class="MsoNormal">Lou and Villiano, along with the rest of the onlookers, turn to watch the lead taxi finally crash onto the deck of the USS Bainbridge. The car is a smoking wreck. The doors fall off, rather than open, as Wevv and Mr. Wang step out of the car. They’re still holding their gelatos. Once clear of the vehicle, it falls to a million pieces. Wevv looks over at Mr. Wang.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Hassan is going to be pissed.

<p class="MsoNormal">The sound of thousands of guns being cocked freezes Wevv’s next words in his throat. The hydraulic whine of the ship’s cannons being brought to the bear on Wevv and Mr. Wang follows. Wevv slowly licks his gelato, as the guns, trained on his forehead, follow his movement. Wevv then clears his throat and speaks.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Um. Hello? I’m Wevv Mang. This is my associate Mr. Wang? I’m contractually obligate to appear at this press conference? Ha Ha? Ha? Oh dear.

<p class="MsoNormal">A short time later:

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv and Mr. Wang are in the brig. The sound of a door being opened brings them to their feet. However, Wevv’s mild expression turns hostile as he sees whom it is.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: YOU! You got a lot of nerve coming here!

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: Just wanted to see how you’re doing. How’s jail treating you?

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Just a temporary situation Villiano. I’ll be out of here in plenty of time for our match.

<p class="MsoNormal">Villiano: That’s what I wanted to hear. I believe you’ll do it too. The charges against you are pretty serious. But I have no doubt you’ll think of some way to get around it. Well, just wanted to stop by and say hello. See you in the ring.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Villiano turns to leave. As he does so, Lou is revealed to be standing behind Wevv. He points two fingers at his eyes, and then one finger at Wevv. He repeats the gesture, before following Villiano out the door.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Damn. I don’t like it Kenzo. We have to get out of here. Things are getting rather more…serious than I had anticipated.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv begins pacing in the small cell.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Villiano is up to something, and he knows that I know he’s up to something, just like he knows that I know that he knows that I’M up to something. Mr. Brown is out to make a name for himself, and I know the raw power he has. I have yet to hear from Shock, but no one ties for the lead on a fluke in a contest like this. I can't make the mistake of underestimating him. He’s probably lying low and preparing for his match, while Villiano and I chase each other around the ring. Then when we’ve beaten the hell out of each other, he’ll swoop in and finish us off. Or Big B will. It’s a risky situation.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv stops pacing and stares at the wall.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: It’s time to stop playing and start focusing on the ultimate prize. Fate has given us this opportunity. The Big Picture is quiet, allowing me to focus on my own projects. Yes. Indeed. This is a fitting conclusion to the distractions. Now, it’s time to put the Plan in motion. After, of course, we escape from this cell. There is still a bit of time to enjoy ourselves. So, Mr. Wang, any suggestions?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Mr. Wang smiles at Wevv. And reaches into his pocket and pulls out…a keyboard. Wevv frowns at his henchman.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: A musical number? Really?

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Wang starts to play a few bars.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: I hate singing, but it will put a nice capper on today’s activities. AHEM! Ready? Here we go.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Well I heard about the fellow you've been dancing with

<p class="MsoNormal">All over the neighborhood

<p class="MsoNormal">So why didn't you ask me baby

<p class="MsoNormal">Or didn't you think I could?

<p class="MsoNormal">''Wevv kicks open the cell door and walks out into the hallway. Two formerly armed guards are dancing. More men are dancing up and down the hallways. Wevv leads a pose down the hallway, with Mr. Wang bringing up the rear, playing his keyboard. A group of soldiers with instruments soon join him, and a full band is formed. Wevv makes his way up to the deck, where full-blown dance numbers are under way. Wevv leads the way over to the side of the boat. He looks over and sees a pile of Portuguese police cars in the harbor. Cranes are slowly removing them, and stacking them on a trawler. Wevv grimaces and loosens up his tie. All too quickly the song ends, and the soldiers erupt in cheers. Thinking quickly, Wevv moves over to the band surrounding Mr. Wang.''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: You fellas know Minnie the Moocher?

<p class="MsoNormal">Soldier: I knew a hooker once named Minnie Mazzola!

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: No, man! The song, Minnie the Moocher?

<p class="MsoNormal">Soldier#2: I know it. Don’t worry, I’m from Chicago. We got you covered.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Good man. Take it away!

<p class="MsoNormal">While the band launches into Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock, Wevv and Mr. Wang make a break for the ganplank to shore. They scoot by the dancing guards, down the plank to the shore, where there is more dancing. They make their way through the crowd to an alley, where they ditch their sunglasses and black jackets. Wevv also looses his hat.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv checks up and down the alley, before heaving a sigh.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: It appears that we’ve made good our escape Kenzo. With the way these things work, I’m sure no one will really know what happened here today, except for a select few. But I’m sure that Ham will be more than happy to pay for any damages incurred by this LPW publicity stunt gone wrong.

<p class="MsoNormal">Mr. Wang snorts.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Now Kenzo, you know I’m contractually obligated, as I have been forcefully reminded recently, to refrain from speaking anything negative about the company or it’s management.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Wevv rolls his shoulders and removes his tie. ''

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: Well, let’s be on our way Kenzo. It’s been quite a day. Nothing like ending our wacky period with some style, eh. Now, though, it’s nothing but serious business from here on out. And my God have mercy on our souls.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv claps Mr. Wang on the shoulder and the two walk out of the alley and blend in with the pedestrians.

<p class="MsoNormal">Wevv: I always enjoy saying that.