Wevv and Lillehammer Promo

Wevv and Lillehammer Promo was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in April 2006 for the Schizophrenia LIVE from Tampa Bay telecast. Wevv teamed up with the debutting Robert Lillehammer against The Misfits teams of Edible and Trey Spruance in a winning effort. The segment was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 'Inside the Executive Gym at the PWA Towers

''Robert Lillehammer enters the gym, dressed in his workout clothes. He looks around the spacious and nearly empty gym. Attendants are cleaning exercise equipment. The ring on the far end of the gym is empty. Robert looks at his watch and wanders in further. He looks around again, and then spots Mr. Wang standing, arms crossed, outside of the steam rooms and sauna. He starts over to Mr. Wang, who sees him coming, and relaxes his stance. He also knocks on the door of the sauna and steps forward and bows to Robert.

Robert: Mr. Wang! A pleasure to meet you sir! Forgive my promptness, but Mr. Mang invited me to work out with him. Is his august personage around? I know I’m early, but just between you and me, I was so eager to train with him!

''Mr. Wang just smiles, and offers to take Robert’s gym bag.

Robert: Of course, how silly of me to forget. I must say, a highly desirable trait amongst one’s servants!

''The door to the sauna opens, and Wevv steps out, wearing only a white terry cloth robe. He hair is damp and mussed. He quickly closes the door behind him.

Wevv: Ah Robert! So good to see you sir! And early too! I like that in a man. Shows dedication! Forgive me, but I was supposed to have a morning meeting with 2TX, but of course, he never showed up. So I used that opportunity to get in some, ah, extra workout time.

''Wevv places an arm around Robert’s shoulders and starts to guide him away from the saunas. Mr. Wang, holding Robert’s gym bag, falls in a step behind them.

Robert: No problem Wevv, may I call you Wevv? A man with your burden of responsibilities must make the most of his time.

Wevv: Robert, that is what I like about you. You understand the burden it takes to succeed. A most promising trait. One that shall see you go far, if I have anything to say about it, and I do! Ah-Ha!

''They have made their way over to a juice bar, on the far side of the gym. An attendant smiles, and waits upon them. Wevv orders a glass of orange juice, while Robert declines anything. Wevv takes a sip and leans upon the bar. He gestures with his glass to Robert.

Wevv: You know Robert, I almost offered you a position on my Payroll when I signed your contract. But then I realized that what this company needs is a voice separate from managements. A fair and balanced voice like yours. This business with the Misfits-

Robert: Vile degenerate scum!

Wevv: Quite. I find your perspective quite refreshing! Indeed, they truly are degenerate scum. Socialist without the social. Communists with a commune. I offered them a chance; I tried to make them aware that this is not some game. That people can, do, and WILL get hurt. And putting an innocent like that woman Juliet in harms way was not going to be tolerated. But now. They, like rabid animals, lashed out at the person trying to help them. They burned my shed down. They destroyed Mr. Nobody’s car!

Robert: So, as The Man With The Plan, what is your plan for these miscreants Trey and Edible?

''Wevv finishes his orange juice and turns back to the attendant.

Wevv: Dom Perignon. Three glasses. Robert, my friend, it is simplicity itself!

''The attendant hands over a bottle of Dom, and three glasses. Wevv takes them, and starts back towards the sauna.

Wevv: I know Edible. I’ve been present for his matches against that deplorable Rabbi. I know what he can do. As for Trey, well, he’s just a drug-abusing reject. Point out the nacho vendor and let the munchies take over!

''The two men share a laugh. They reach the sauna, and Wevv stops.

Wevv: But seriously Robert. The best advice I can offer is to not think too much about this match. Clear your mind of distractions. My Payroll will take care of Mr. Boo. Don’t worry about underestimating Trey and Edible. They are desperate, violent men. They will do anything to try to win. Try to think of everything they may, or may not do, will simply tax your energy, and distract your focus. Rage is a powerful force, but it can cut both ways. They expect their actions to infuriate us, blind us, and force us to make mistakes. Don’t give them that edge! Calm, focused, rational thought is what is needed at a time like this. That is what will achieve us true victory.

''Wevv smiles at Robert. Mr. Wang leans over and knocks on the sauna door.

Robert: You are a wise man sir.

Wevv: Thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better partner, Robert. Now, feel free to make use of the facilities. You are my VIP. You will find it a most … accommodating facility.

''The door of the sauna opens, and a lovely blond girl, wearing a towel opens leans out, and takes the bottle of Dom from Wevv. A stunning brunette, also wearing a towel, walks out and takes the glasses from Wevv’s hand. With her free hand, she reaches up and runs a finger along Wevv’s cheek. She turns to go back into the sauna, but gives Wevv a lingering, sultry look. She also gives her hips a slow rolling swing.

Robert: I see what you mean….

Wevv: Careful Robert. The staff here is not that kind of staff. But, should they wish, well, I am but a humble servant. Management can be such a burden. Now, if you’ll excuse me, duty calls.