The Return of Mentally "Sick" Nick

The Return of Mentally "Sick" Nick was an e-wrestling opening segment written by Wevv Mang in March 2006 as part of the Schizophrenia LIVE from Charlotte telecast. The segment featured The Rabbi and the return of "Sick" Nick, who together won the PWA United States Tag Team Championship. The conclusion saw Lou book the tag team partners against each other with Wevv as the referee.

The segment was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 'Lou and Wevv are inside Lou’s office.

Lou: Well, that should do it for the card. We just need one more match, I think. Any suggestions Wevv?

Wevv: Indeed, Louis, I did have one match in mind. You’ll excuse me, but I took the liberty of making the arrangements myself.

Lou: Oh, and what would that be?

Wevv: Well Louis, you see, I made a very special trip this week, and…

''The scene fades out and then comes up in Rabbi’s home. He is checking his mail, and comes across a large envelope. He opens the envelope and inside is a videocassette. He walks over to his Entertainment system, and pops the tape in. The smiling face of Wevv appears, in close up.

Wevv: Hello Rabbi!

Rabbi: Hello Wevv, you sack of-

Wevv: It’s my duty as a member of management to inform you about your next match. I still think this current path you’re on will lead to nothing but hardship. Come back to us Rabbi. Come back to the people who care about you. It’s not too late to change your ways! The fans still love you! But they, and myself, are not the only ones who want back the Rabbi of old! There’s a very special some one, who would like to say something…

''The camera pans out, to show a sanitarium, with patients in white gowns walking behind Wevv and his special guest. Who is none other than “Sick” Nick.

Wevv: Nick? Would you like to say something to your old friend Rabbi?

“Sick” Nick: I’m sorry.

Wevv: See? Well done Nick! Have a cookie.

''Wevv hands a large chocolate chip cookie to Nick, whose face lights up, and eagerly grabs it. He doesn’t bite into it, but holds it out at arms length, and smiles at it.

Nick: I’m Sorry!

Wevv: See Rabbi? Nick is sorry for what he’s done to you. Can’t you find it in your heart to do the same? Can’t you find it in your heart to forgive the fans?

Wevv: Rabbi, I know that the past few months haven’t been kind to you. And Nick here-

Nick: I’m sorry!

Wevv: Thank you Nick. We know. Nick here has been the leading cause of it all. He’s selfishly beaten you at every turn. He’s stolen the spotlight off you time and time again. Nick is ready to make amends and put things back to way they once were, when the good times rolled, and the fans would chant you name, and people loved you. Right Nick?

Nick: I’m so so sorry!

Wevv: Thank you Nick.

''Wevv and Nick share a hug. As the hug breaks apart, Nick takes a bite of his cookie. As he chews, he stops, and his eyes go wide. He holds out the cookie, stares in horror at the bite taken out of it.

“Sick” Nick: MR. COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOOO! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!

''Orderlies come in and restrain Nick and start to carry him off, while Nick still screams at the top of his lungs “I’m Sorry”. Wevv had leaped up and away from Nick at the beginning of his outburst. But now, he composes himself, straightens his tie, and as the camera zooms in for a close up, Wevv’s voice takes on a hint of sadness.

Wevv: Come back to us Rabbi. We need you. All of us do. Let’s show that there’s no hard feelings. One last match. Two friends in a friendly competition. To bury the hatchet once and for all, not it anger, but in brotherly love. Oh, and the match is next show. See you then Rabbi. I know you’ll make the rig-

''The TV crashes to the ground, the picture tube shattered, and smoking. Rabbi stands over it, his fists clenched in rage.

Rabbi: I’ll kill him.

''The scene fades out, and we return to Lou’s office.

Lou: Soooo, Nick is fit to wrestle?

''Jump cut to Wevv back in the hospital, talking with a Doctor. Wevv is writing on a clipboard.

Doctor: You sure this is a good idea Mr. Mang?

''Nick has escaped from the orderlies and is running across the large room, waving his arms, while being chased by several orderlies. He’s repeating over and over again “ I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!”.

Wevv: Seems fine to me. Now, have him at the arena by no later than 5PM, the day of the show. And be sure to have response team standing by.

''Wevv finishes his writing with a flourish, and thrust the clipboard into the Doctor’s chest.

''Jump cut back to Lou’s office.

Wevv: Certainly!

Lou: That’s good news. I have some more good news then. I spoke with your doctor.

Wevv: Really? I can see where you’re going with this Louis, and, well, I don’t think my back is quite ready for an in-ring return, and after all this time away from the ring, ring-rust and all-

Lou: Oh, I agree with Wevv. You’re not ready to return to the ring-

Wevv: And then my hand has been, eh? You agree? Why, thank you Louis, I appreciate your concern for my well being-

Lou: -As a wrestler! But as a ref? You betcha! It will help you clear up some of that ring rust you were talking about, and what better match than Rabbi vs “Sick” Nick!

Wevv: But-!

Lou: No buts! It’s your responsibility! Deputy.