Post Show promo, Wevv vs. Fixx

Post Show promo, Wevv vs. Fixx was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in September 2005. It was written as part of a post-match interview with Jonathan Crotchman after his Iron Man match against former Wild Cards protege, Sick Fixx at the At All Costs (2005) pay-per-view. It was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years to conclude Wevv's Rise to Power.

Promo
 ''The camera enters the trainer’s area. Inside, we see a man lying face down on a table. He face is buried in a bag of ice. His back is nearly one solid bruise, and his hands are folded under his face. From the grey streaks along his temples and the clear marking on the leggings of his trunks, we know it’s Wevv Mang.

''Crotch enters the scene, a mic held to his mouth.

Crotch: What up peeps!

''Wevv can be heard to groan, and clamps the bag of ice tighter to his face.

Crotch: Crotchman here to get the latest information from the Man With The Plan, WEVV MANG! Wevv! Buddy! How you feeling?

''Wevv raises his head from the ice bag and we can see for the first time that his left hand has a splint on it. Wevv’s face is a swollen mess. Above his right eye, stitches can be seen running the length of his eyebrow. His left eye is swollen nearly shut. His nose has a bandage on it, and his lip is swollen as well. He slowly, and painfully gets into a sitting position. Pain is etched on his face fro the slow, careful movements, and once he has his back against the wall, and relaxes, he lets out a soft sigh. Wevv looks up at Crotch. He carefully lifts the bag of ice and places it in his lap, and lays his left on it.

Wevv: How do I feel? How do you think I feel?

Crotch: You look like you got hit with a truck!

Wevv: An apt metaphor. Crotch, if I wasn’t in such pain that I can barely move, well, I can’t so there’s no point in postulating the possibilities. I can only hope to satisfy your urge to make my life miserable with you idiotic questions and be done with it. What do you want?

Crotch: Well, you still seem able to give long-winded speeches! So Wevv, tell me, what was the deal at the end of your match?

Wevv: (Sighs) You really don’t get it do you? I shook his hand to show respect. Next question.

Crotch: Now wait a minute! That’s it? Come on Wevv! In all my time interviewing you, you always have something Planned. SO what is it? To psyche out Sick Fixx? Is that it? It’s a trick? Come one Wevv! Sick Fixx had you beat at the end! There’s got to be more to it than that?

Wevv: Beat?!? Who won? Me, that’s who, showing that I was the better man, like I said all along. No, the first handshake WAS a trick. To show him to always be ready. To never let his guard down in the ring. He showed me he learned that lesson (Wevv holds up his injured hand). He caught ME unprepared. Heh. So when the bell sounded, and the match was over, I offered my hand. My GOOD hand, and looked into his eyes and saw for the first time what he had been missing. PRIDE. It was there. Burning brightly. RESPECT. He had earned it and was worthy of it. DETERMINATION. This loss was not the end of his world. It was something he would get over and grow from. Sick Fixx has finally become the man I knew he could be. Granted, it took me popping his shoulder from it’s socket to drive that point home, HAHA, but he got the message. He LEARNED. He won that match as much as I did. I beat him, but I didn’t break him. He’s walking out of here on his own and I am soon to be carried. Beaten, but not broken. Oh no, FAR from broken.

Crotch: And now that your business is finished with Sick Fixx, it is finished isn’t it? (Wevv had closed his eyes at the end, and nods) What about your other business? The Illuminati is destroyed-

''Wevv laughs out loud and grabs his sides and hunches forward in pain. He pants for breath in short gasps. H finally looks up

Wevv: Destroyed you say? Crotch, please! I’m an injured man. I can’t take your jokes! It hurts when I laugh!

Crotch: Come on Wevv! Dragon and Phantom lost the tag team belts! SoL lost the Heavyweight Championship! Ham is almost dead! Phantom got FIRED! The Pyro-luminati are revolting-

''Wevv laughs again, and gasps in pain

Wevv: Stop it Crotch! It hurts! Pyro-luminati revolting! They are, aren’t they? Oh, the Illuminati are in big trouble, no doubt about that! But destroyed? PFAH! If you cretins want to believe that, then go right ahead! Me? After I leave the hospital, I plan to spend a few weeks in the south of France, and when I have recovered and am well rested, then we shall see what shape Schizophrenia is in. I’m sure Villiano will have lost control of it then. That Stevie Richards is one sneaky guy. No, I plan to relax, let my back heal, my finger heal, my face heal, get a nice tan on the beaches of St. Tropez, drink some excellent wine, spend quite a few of Viliiano’s dollars at the Monte Carlo casinos, have sex with a bevy of beautiful European women, and when Schizophrenia is in complete shambles, because “The Illuminati are dead! Villiano is in charge! There’s nothing else we have to worry about!!!!”, THEN is when I shall return, and well….. let’s just say I have Plans, shall we?

Crotch: Wait, you’re saying that it’s not over yet? There’s some one else? Who? Come one Wevv! You can tell your old buddy Crotch! What’s going to happen?

Wevv: Crotch, my painkillers are kicking in and sleep is calling, but before I doze off, and get wheeled out of here, let me just offer my warmest congratulations to our new champion, 2TX. He really is a “Tough Guy”. heh.

''Wevv lays himself back down on the table and places the ice bag under his face, and folds his hands around it.

Crotch: Wait! Was that a clue? Was it? Wevv! Come on buddy!

''Wevv shoos Crotch off with one arm, and a trainer comes in and forces Crotch out.