Payroll Pep Talk

Payroll Pep Talk was an e-wrestling segment written by Wevv Mang in April 2006 for the Schizophrenia LIVE from Tampa Bay telecast. The segment was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 'Inside Wevv Mang’s Office

''Wevv is on the phone, pacing back and forth behind his desk. He tries to speak several times, but never gets the words out. The door opens to his office, and Random, Bobino, and Mr. Nobody enter. They cut their speech short, as Wevv motions them to sit down. Mr. Wang trails behind them, and casts an inquisitive look at the group. Random quickly picks up on the meaning of the look, and orders a drink. Bobino and Mr. Nobody follow suit. Wevv finally stops pacing, and speaks.

Wevv: Calm down Louis! Listen my friend, we’ll get to the bottom of these strange occurrences, my word on that, but listen, I know Pyromania is not part of my official jurisdiction, but that logo, the LWO…..I see….But Louis, I’m worried for V, now that he…Yes…But Louis! Let me!- ..Fine. Very well. You’re the boss. But couldn’t I? Hello?

''Wevv slowly, and deliberately places the phone back in it’s cradle.

Random: Something wrong Wevv?

Wevv: Nothing to be concerned about, apparently. Gentlemen! I’m so glad you could make it!

Mr. Nobody: (Under his breath) Oh man, here come the ninjas…

''Everyone starts talking at once, and tempers start to flare

Random: Listen, Wevv, it was Nobody’s fault –

Bobino: I had that match won, but the ref –

Mr. Nobody: My fault?!? Look Wevv, If Random hadn’t-

Random: - And then the Misfits –

Mr. Nobody: - The Misfits! –

Bobino: - And then the Misfits! –

Wevv: STOP IT!

''The tableau freezes. Wevv comes from around his desk to stand in front of the Payroll, and leans on the front of his desk. He slowly crosses his arms, and makes sure he has everyone’s attention.

Wevv: Gentlemen. I saw what happened last week, probably better than you did. I know what happened. I can’t say I’m not disappointed in the outcome.

''The Payroll start to protest again, but Wevv raises one hand to stop them before they pick up a full head of steam.

Wevv: BUT! I am pleased on one account.

''The Payroll look confused.

Wevv: Gentlemen, when I put this group together, I said there would be opportunities galore. I have kept that promise. But I also said one other thing that may have escaped your comprehension. I also said that I could not simply hand you everything you wanted. Last week, you wanted to win. You didn’t. That right will have to be earned.

''Wevv begins to slowly pace before the group.

Wevv: Now, defeat has looked you square in the eye. Are you going to quit? Are you going to let this one, single stinging loss break apart this group? Let me tell you what I saw last week. I saw teamwork. I saw hunger, I saw confidence, and I saw excellence! Your pride has been humbled. Are you going to tuck your tail between your legs and slink away? Are you going to let these…these… Misfits break your spirit? Are you?!?

Wevv: Ah, I can see that the answer is no! You’re ready to strike back! This is where my guidance comes in. Let me tell you what you did NOT see! We have pushed the Misfits. They have pushed back. Where we are focused, they are not. They are lashing out at whatever is handy. We have a purpose and a Plan. They seek to enrage us, and cloud our thinking. Some of you have fallen for this. I urge you to stay focused! Are you with me?

''Wevv holds out his hand. The group looks around at each other, before standing up, and putting their hand on top of Wevv’s.

Wevv: Excellent! Now, on to other business. I consider this first outing a success. We have worked together, and weathered the first hurdle. Such loyalty deserves reward.

''Wevv reaches over to his desk and picks up a pair of keys. He tosses them to Mr. Nobody.

Wevv: Enjoy. It’s a BMW Z4 Roadster. Also, I have arranged for protected parking for all of you. Now, Bobino, here.

''Wevv hands Bobino a small card.

Wevv: Call the number to schedule an appointment at your earliest convenience.

Bobino: For what?

Wevv: Image is important. I have arranged for the finest tailors to create the very best custom suits. A full wardrobe. A champion should always look the part. You two may go. I would like to have a private word with Random.

''Mr. Nobody and Bobino start to head out.

Bobino: Suits? I could use a new wardrobe, but a new car would have been nice…

Mr. Nobody: I’ll drive you! (He holds up his keys and jingles them)

Bobino: Shut up! (Bobino reaches out to snatch the keys, but Nobody pulls them away. The two share a chuckle.)

Random: So, what do I get? I could use a new car, but I’m not much for clothes…

''Wevv moves around his desk, and sits down, putting the desk between himself and Random. Wevv casts an appraising glance at Random.

Wevv: I can see that. Tell me, how is your investigation going?

''Random takes a seat, and leans back. He puts his hands behind his head, and replies:

Random: Not too well. You have some very clever enemies Wevv. They have covered their tracks well. You have any other tidbits to throw my way? Maybe I should be looking into the recent light shows…?

Wevv: No. I will handle those. Forces are in motion Random. Great forces. Events are moving rapidly. AR III is drawing close…But you must focus on what is in front of you.

''Wevv leans over his desk and opens his humidor, and pulls out a cigar. He offers one to Random, who shakes his head no.

Wevv: I saw what you did last week. You took control. Such initiative deserves a…unique…reward.

Random: What do you have in mind Wevv?

''Wevv smiles, and lights his cigar. The flames from the lighter reflect from his eyes.

Wevv: Oh, something very special…