Jason Gravis promo (Boise)

Jason Gravis promo (Boise) was an e-wrestling promo written by Jason Gravis on May, 2010. It was for an eight-man tag team elimination match in which he teamed with Richard Michaels, Hatchet Ryda and MC Steel against Andy Savana, Dante Odiah and the Watchmen (Justus and Black Reaper). The promo was for the Insanity LIVE from Boise telecast.

The promo scored a 3.25 aps, in a losing effort.

Promo
  ''Alone in the forest, Shrouded in despair. Sits a quant little home, Tended to with care. But trespassers be warned, be careful, beware.''

''For inside this home, Lives evil indeed, A monster of temptation, Appeals to your greed, You’re her next meal, don’t bother to plead.''

She’ll ply you with sweets, Candy and tarts, For love is a key ingredient, To a truly tasty heart....''

“OH SHUT THE HELL UP! If you’re going to kill me just do it, the waiting is terrible.” one Jason Gravis yelled dispelling the rhymes that for some reason seemed to be spouting off from nowhere. He struggles at his bonds, the tight red braided rope that holds him fast to a kitchen chair. The kitchen around him is small, decorated like it belongs to a grandmother with severe OCD about buying trinkets. The table before him is piled high with sweets and baked goods of every sort. Every one of the food groups they don’t tell you about in school is represented; the scent of the goodies fills the room with a delightful aroma.

The room itself looks like it was made by someone with a demented sweet tooth. Candy canes support the ceiling while gingerbread and icing makes up the walls. The light shines brightly into the room through the stained icing windows, a kaleidoscope of colors making this honest to god Gingerbread House sparkle on the inside and out.

Completing the odd look is the sweet little grandmother working away at heating an abnormally large oven, easily half again the size of a man.

“Oh hush dear, I like the rhymes. It helps the time go by until the ovens ready.” She says as she bustles about throwing more logs onto the fire to get the heat going.

“Now stop struggling please.” She says with a cheerful smile as she turns to look at the hunter picking up a nasty looking mallet, the crusted crimson blood coating each side leaving no doubt what it’s for. “It will make you all stringy before the oven heats up.”

Jason smiles grimly, still trying to break loose from the liquorice bonds holding him to the cookie chair. It easily holds fast as she starts to walk over to him, humming a happy tune to herself. Resigning himself to a very unpleasant situation Jason says the only thing that comes to mind.

“Crapfuck.”

Very eloquent indeed.

24 Hours Earlier