Old School Promo

Old School Promo was a Golden Era e-wrestling promo written by cYnical on August 31, 2009 for a match against Steve Monroe at the Insanity LIVE from Woodstock.

The promo scored a 3.50 aps in a winning effort.

Promo
 ''The screen is black. A small flicker appears. The flicker becomes a Flame. The Flame illuminates the face of cYnical.

 cYnical:  A storm is brewing. One that will shake LPW to its very foundation. D. Hammond Samuels has formed an unholy alliance with Little Red Riding Hood and Krimson Mask to make my life a living hell, as if it wasn't already.

I've heard rumors about some other sociopaths joining their ego-building exercise, but they are irrelevant at best.

I worked hard. I focused my energies. I finally had the chance to exact my revenge on that manipulative, little bitch. Everything was finally falling into place. The world was mine for the taking. Then Samuels showed up and ruined everything.

You'd think I was used to disappointment by now. You would assume wrong. I have a crippling disease, and its name is "Hope." I still envision the day where I have regained MY World Heavyweight Championship. I can imagine the sight of Little Red groveling at my feet, begging for my forgiveness. I can see a brighter day in which Hammond no longer has a death grip on LPW.

Unfortunately, my focus has been broken recently. Another year, another rookie shows up and thinks he'll make a statement by calling me out. They always think they are so brave and noble, claiming they will Step Into The Flame and somehow survive, blah, blah, blah...

I have grown weary of such petty challenges. I am frankly tired of having to prove myself time and time again, against some kid with an over-inflated sense of self-worth. I am sick of being disrespected by someone who has accomplished so little, and yet demands so much.

Mr. Monroe, the way that you chase Red's skirt sickens me. It is the most pathetic act I have witnessed in quite some time. You stalk her as if she is some sort of movie star. You desperately try to impress her, and yet she does not even acknowledge your existence. You believe she gave you a match with me as a reward for your loyalty. You think it is some sort of opportunity to prove yourself to her.

What you do not realize is that she did not deliver me to you as a gift. Little Red threw you into the den with a lion. She will laugh hysterically as I rip you apart. She gets off on that kind of thing, you see. She has already envisioned you being torn limb from limb, your blood flowing freely as if a stream is escaping from your very soul. She dreams of playing with your insides, using your small intestine as a jump rope.

She is a sick fuck, and you are in way over your head.

Many have attempted to, but none have tamed her. No one has ever discovered the secret to controlling her. No one has ever truly won her favor. No one but me.

Not even that monstrous, blind, dumb, idiot Mask can control her psychopathic delusions. He simply has the good sense to keep out of her way. You, my friend, stand absolutely no chance in this scenario. You are a very small pawn in a very big war. You won't survive this match, let alone win Red's heart. But I will. I will gladly pay the money, and I WILL possess Red's heart. Then I will break it in front of the entire world.

All of my dreams will become a reality. All of my desires will be realized.

You will fade away into obscurity, a footnote in the most destructive war LPW has ever seen.

In other words, Steve, you will Step Into The Flame...

and you will burn.

cYnical blows out The Flame and the screen returns to black.