Mr. Mang Goes to Pyromania

Mr. Mang Goes to Pyromania was a post-Altered Reality II promo written by Wevv Mang in June 2005. It was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 ''A limousine pulls up outside of an arena in a town hosting a Pyro Mania House show.

''A large oriental gentleman in a classic tuxedo and bowler hat steps out of the driver’s side and walks nonchalantly to open the back passenger door. Security points to the limo, parked in the VIP area and moves in to investigate.

''Meanwhile, a man steps out of the back, wearing an expensive Italian suit, with a cellphone pressed to his ear. A smile is plastered on his face, that can easily seen as being forced.

Wevv: Relax Bob, I’ve got it under control! Listen, we can talk about this this weekend, on the links. I gotta tell you, I’ve been working on my driving and I think I can finally drive past you on the fairway! I’m telling you Bob, you might be in trouble! HAHAHA! We’ll see! Talk to you this weekend!

''Wevv snaps the phone closed and his smile vanishes. Wevv looks around and scowls.

Wevv: letting him win galls me to no end, but if it keeps him happy...Bah. Let’s get this over with Mr. Wang, I’m in a foul mood.

Security: Excuse me sir, are you on the list? This is a VIP only zone.

Wevv: Of course I’m a VIP! Does this mean anything to you!

''Mr. Wang pulls and flashes a piece of paper from his front pocket. The guard reads the paper, and nudges his partner as Wevv and Mr. Wang start walking. The guard keeps pace, and then his eyes bug out.

Security: Yes SIR! Right this way SIR! May I hold the door for you, SIR?

Wevv: Simply tell me the way to the Bad Mama Jamma’s (Wevv winces as he says the words) locker room, flunky!

Security: Straight down the hall, and then take a left. You can’t miss it. In fact, I can escort you if you like Sir?

Wevv:That won’t be necessary! Come Mr. Wang!

''Mr. Wang and Wevv stalk down the halls, passing various Pyro talent lounging about, who ignore Wevv as he walks by, but their conversations fade as they realize who they have just seen, and their glances follow him as he moves rapidly down the hall. At last, Wevv and Mr. Wang come to a door marked with the BMJ logo. Wevv pauses and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes and counts to three. He opens his eyes and nods to Mr. Wang. Mr. Wang bangs on the door and throws it open. He steps inside as Wevv quickly follows on his heels.

''Inside we see Sheepster, Styxx and Rob, just in the process of getting up. When they see it’s Wevv, Sheepster stumbles, Robb swallows a curse, and staggers as well. Only Styxx remains on his feet. Wevv stops just inside the door, which Mr. Wang slams closed. Wevv surveys the scene silently. Sheepster makes it to his feet, and offers:

Sheepster: Uh, can we help you?

''Robb starts to say something, but Wevv cuts him off. Wevv points at him as he says:

Wevv: YOU! OUT! Now.

''Robb looks over at Sheepster who is ready, but clearly nervous, and at the look of menace on Styxx’s face. He looks over at Wevv, who is no longer even looking at him, but staring coldly at Styxx and Sheepster. He looks at Mr. Wang, who has a slight smile on his face. Mr. Wang, for some reason, makes him nervous the most. He closes his mouth and leaves, but before he closes the door, he says:

Robb: I’ll be right outside if you need me.

''Once the door closes, Styxx starts to speak, but once again Wevv cuts him off.

Wevv: Spare me the idle threat and empty boasting. Our match may not have gone the way I would have liked, but you beat us. Congratulations. But I have an offer to make you.

''Wevv sticks out his hand.

Styxx: You think we’re-

Wevv: Silence English! My offer isn’t to you!

Styxx: For the LAST TIME! I’M AUSTRALIAN!

Wevv: And they don’t teach manners in Australia? I was speaking to Sheepster.

Sheepster: Me? What did I do?

Wevv: You know what you did. My offer is simple. Let us make a pact to meet again next year at AR III. What say you?

''Sheepster looks at Wevv’s outstretched hand. Styxx makes a noise like hocking up a loogey. Wevv pulls his hand back at the last second, leaving Sheepster grabbing air.

Wevv: Well, think about it. Until next year. If not sooner...

''With that, Wevv and Mr. Wang are gone, pushing aside Robb who was trying to jump back in. The door closes and Wevv is off down the hallway again. On the way, a scowling Wevv almost collides with another man, coming the opposite direction. This man, has a busty woman trailing his heels, wearing some very provocative clothing. Wevv eyes the stranger, as the man eyes Wevv back. FInally, Wevv speaks.

Wevv: Mr. Biggalo Balls is it?

Biggie: Mr. Wevv Mang.

Wevv: We meet at last. I have been following your career-

Biggie: As I have yours, son.

Wevv: Very impressive. Not as impressive as mine, but you have a certain style none the less.

''Just then, Spark and WLK come running around the corner.

WLK: Hey Biggie! Did you see! I got a match!

Spark: I do too!

Wevv: Well, I won’t keep you. Here’s my card. Call me. We should do lunch some time. I have to run, I have a very important meeting. Oh, and a word of advice? Keep an eye on your sidekicks. You never know when they might decide to get “ambitious”

''As Wevv starts to walk off, Mr. Wang eyes Anita, He wiggles his eyebrows, flashes a smile, offers a slight bow to Biggie, and then scowls at WLK and Spark, as he catches up to Wevv.

WLK: You want we should take care of that jabroni for looking at Ms. Anita like that, Biggie?

Biggie: No. (Biggie pockets the card, and watches Wevv and Mr. Wang disappear around a corner) let them go. Come on you two....

''Finally, Wevv reaches his final destination. Austin is sitting outside Juncti’s office, waiting to speak to the Man. Wevv walks right by him and grabs the door handle. Austin jumps up and grabs Wevv’s arm.

Austin: Hey! I was next!

''Wevv shrugs him off as Mr. Wang tenses. Wevv steps into Juncti’s office, trailed by Mr. Wang, who glares at Austin. SFS is propelled out as the door starts to close.

Wevv: You still are! Ah Juncti! I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced! I’m Wevv Mang, US Tag Team Champion....

''The door closes in Austin’s face, and the sound of a lock being turned is heard.

Fini...