PMS

PMS was an e-wrestling promo written by Krimson Mask from the perspective of Little Red Riding Hood and her Dear Diary. The promo was Krimson Mask's match debut against Stallion at Pyromania 8.3.

The promo scored a 4.20 aps in a winning effort.

Promo
   Dear Dieary,

 Sometimes they say the mind twists and bends in order to deal with the horrors of life. In some cases, the mind bends so much that it splits in two, kinda like how an axe splits the head off of someones neck. Hee hee hee hee hee. That seems to be the case with me. I have become just a tad bit psychotic. Do not get me wrong. I have not always been this way. I used to be the most precious little girl in the entire village. Everyone loved me. All the townspeople would smile every time I would skip along the road with my little wooden basket in one arm and say hi to them. I was a cutie. Everyone wanted to be my friend.

 But that all changed. Ever since that one day at Grandmothers house, I have not exactly been a normal little girl. It was all because of that horrible Big Bad Wolf. I was just 6 years old. Mother never told me what kind of wicked creatures lived in the woods. I did not know I am not supposed to talk to strangers, much less tell the Big Bad Wolf where I was going. Why did he have to use me like that? What did I ever do wrong to deserve that? ITS NOT FAIR! We were living in magical enchanted kingdom. Nothing is supposed to go wrong. Out of all the people, why did it have to happen to me? None of the other pretty girls had that happen to them. All these princess bitches with their glass slippers, Prince Charmings, and knights in shining armor. They all lived happily ever after. But not me. None of them went through what I endured. I WAS RAPED! He took advantage of me. And it was not just anyone. I was raped by the Big Bad Wolf at the age of 6. 6! 6-year olds are supposed to be playing games outside like duck duck goose. They are not supposed to be getting stuffed inside the belly of a disguised Big Bad Wolf with her Grandmother already digested inside. Do you have any idea how that felt? What was I supposed to do? I was 6!

 It ruined my life! When I look back at my youth, the first childhood memory I have is saliva sliding down the Big Bad Wolfs tongue into his stomach. The scratches and bruises eventually went away, but the emotional scarring seemed like it would stay with me forever and ever and ever. After my rape, everyone started acting differently to me. The little boys in the village stopped blowing kisses at me. None of the little boys wanted the girl who had coodies, much less the little girl who had rabies thanks to her one night stand with a wolf who was dressed in her Grandmother’s floral nightgown. Thanks to him, I had no friends anymore. The Ugly Duckling probably had more friends than me. Mother and Grandmother would always tell me that everything would be okay. They said that things would get better. I would forget about it eventually. And after awhile, I did forget about it. Krimson Mask protected me every time I would enter the woods. As I grew up, every time a bad creature would come near me, Krimson Mask would slay the beast with his axe. Krimson Mask could destroy any animal, goblin, or troll who entered our path. I was safe. We were invited to join King Thrushbeards wrestling promotion and Krimmy defeated all who dared cross paths with us. Instead of being the little girl who was raped by a wolf, I was making a name for myself as the kingdoms greatest wrestling manager. Everyone loved me. I was making friends for first time since my rape. I was finally happy again.

 But then one day, everything changed. We were traveling on the road to another show. We saw a pack of Big Bad Wolves come out from the trees of the forest. They came after us with their sharp teeth and pointy claws. They pounced on us. They took out Krimmy and plucked out his eyeballs. They stitched his eyelids together through his mask. They sliced off his tongue and sewed his lips to the mask as well. Then they came after me. And then they. They. I can not remember. Why can I not remember what I happened next? What happened to me?

 Now we are in this new world. I do not know how me and Krimson Mask got here, but we are gonna figure out how to get back home. I just wanna see Grandmother again. Nobody seems to know directions on how to get back home. Its not fair. Now I do not have any friends in this new world, just like last time this happened to me. Everytime me and Krimson Mask try to make friends here, they try to get away. I feel so lonely a lot of the time. But you know what? That is all about to change now that me and Krimson Mask are in the PWA. Everyone is gonna be my friend now. Hee hee hee hee hee.

 But do you know who is gonna be my best friend? Oh you already know. It is Skittles. What happened at Vertigo between Skittles and Krimmy was just a big misunderstanding. I told Krimmy that I wanted him to find me a dollie to play with and he just accidently grabbed Skittles and treated him like a ragdoll. He is blind after all. But I still want to be Skittles best friend. We are gonna be best friends forever and ever and ever. We will do everything together.

 I got it all planned out. First I can come over to his locker room after Pyromania 8.3 and we can play dress-up. I saw this really adorable princess gown that he would look perfect in. Its all silver and its got this bell shaped skirt with the shiny little sequins on the sides. It goes about knee high and shows off the shoulders particularly well. We could also find some glass slippers so that it would match perfectly with the dress. He would look so cute in it. We could play Make Believe where Skittles is Cinderella at the royal ball. We could dance and dance and dance until the clock strikes midnight. Then we could go to the hotel room and have a sleepover, as long as Skittles mother says its okay. And then you know what we would do at this sleepover? Thats right. Pillow fight! Yay! I love pillow fights! We could keep hitting each other so much that the feathers would start bursting out of the pillows. Feathers would fly everywhere that you would think there were exploding doves in the air! And then when we are tired out from that we can lay on the bed and share secrets with each other. We can even talk about boys. Ooh! Ooh! You would not believe what I heard the other day. Do not tell anyone this Dieary. Its a secret. Are you ready? NY Stallion is a virgin.

 Shhhhhhh!

 Shhhhhhh!

 Quiet!

 Do not tell anyone. That is between me, you, and Skittles. I know, I know. He is such a loser. Ooh! Do you want to know another secret? Do you? Do you? Do you want to know why he is still a virgin? This is what a little birdie told me.

 It is because he is afraid of the Pussy Monster. Hee hee hee hee hee. He shivers underneath his blankets at night while grasping to his little Batman dolly. Stallion believes he has seen the face of evil itself, and it is inside a womens nether region. He probably had a more traumatic experience than I had with my encounter with the Big Bad Wolf. If you can believe that.

 It all started during his first and only sexual experience. Once the prostitute got him in the mood one night, she caressed his body and proceeded to take off her undergarments. All of a sudden, Stallion saw it as clear as a sunny day. The pussy Monster was alive inside the girl, pouring blood out of her vagina. Hee hee hee hee hee. Stallion started to freak out but the girl quickly tried to calm him down. She said she did not know it was that time of the month for her pms to start up. But Stallion knew better. He knew what pms really stood for. It meant Pussy Monster Supper-time. The grotesque private area of the woman was gonna eat his little wiener for dinner. The blood spilling out was probably from the eaten trouser-snake of another unfortunate victim the prostitute had done that day. Then Stallion looked at it a little more and saw the grinding teeth chomping at the bit to bite off his Boner-appa-teet. He could not take it anymore. He was not supposed to lose his virginity like this. Stallion flailed up his arms and started screaming like a little school girl. He ran as far, far away as possible till he was embraced by Bat-robb. As part of the Dynamic Duo, he fought villains of all kinds, but he never had to face such a thing as evil as the Pussy Monster again. After all, no one would believe him.

<span style="color:#; font-family: poornut"> But now that Bat-Robb can no longer protect him, he is alone again. He thinks every little girl has a Pussy Monster inside of her. Its out there. The rumors are true. He believes that if he even comes within a close distance of any woman, their Pussy Monster will attack his little galloper and swallow it whole. He now lives in constant fear of having it torn off and eaten.

<span style="color:#; font-family: poornut"> But that is where me and Krimson Mask come in. We want to be Stallions friend. We will help him get through this. We will do it together at Pyromania 8.3. He will no longer have to live in terror of having his wiener eaten. Krimmy has this nice axe made of the finest Redwood trees. The blade on it is very, very, very sharp. He can cut if off before any Pussy Monster devours it. We can do that cause we just want to help Stallion and be his friend. It will calm his fears down. I hope Stallion accepts it. Hopefully he extends himself to our friendship.

<span style="color:#; font-family: poornut"> Hee hee hee hee hee.