Phantom Lord promo (Boise)

Phantom Lord promo (Boise) was an e-wrestling promo written by Phantom Lord in May 2010 for a match against Seth Omega for the vacant LPW Hardcore Championship match at the Insanity LIVE from Boise telecast.

Promo
 

''The shot opens up outside a Home Depot store where we see Phantom Lord grab one of the trademark orange shopping carts as he walks inside the mega store

Phantom: It seems that Pope Fred is being stripped of the LPW Hardcore championship and despite my offer to be awarded the championship, the LPW is seeing fit to put me in a rematch with Seth Omega for the vacant title. Omega seems to think he took me to the limit during out last encounter, but on the contrary. It was I who took him to his limit and had that idiotic referee not stopped the damn match my hand would have been raised in victory. So to avoid another draw that is why I am here inside this Home Depot. For the yard tard who likes diving through plywood and light tubes, this place must seem like heaven.

''We see Phantom on a isle with barbwire and he picks up a sample piece to check it out



Phantom: Oh I bet you would like this. 15.5gage Barb Wire so you can rake my face across it and tear my flesh. Or maybe you would want to wrap my body up in it so you can take a steel chair and smash the barbs into me over and over and over. You know I did that enough on the indies with guys who think that rolling around in glass means they are tough. No, I don’t think we’ll be using any barbwire for this one.

''Phantom continues to walk around the store and he comes to the isle where there nails and screws



Phantom: Perhaps you would like this instead. Why we have a box of nails here so that one could nail them into a giant board so someone can get thrown onto it. Oh sure it looks cool when watching videos from Japan…but the pain these give out is only temporary. I want something where I can beat you to with in an inch of your miserable immoral life that you have being associated with Pope Fred and Ocean69. But I know what we shall be doing for our match in Boise. I thought about what kind of match is there where I can beat someone to a bloody pulp over and over and over and then it dawned on me...

''We see Phantom walking and he makes his way to an isle with chains and he finds what he is looking for



Phantom: Ah yes here we are. About 15 feet of this stuff will do just fine. Seth, I know you are used to using garbage, but in the good old days when there was a feud to be settled you hooked yourself up to one end of these baby’s. Call it Russian, Tennessee, New York, what ever…the chain match is the be all end all of real hardcore wrestling. I am going to enjoy wrapping this thick heavy chain around my fist as I drive it into you’re skull over and over and over. The grey steel will be dripping blood red as I wrap this around your big fat neck and CHOKE the life out of you. I’ve been more of these matches then I care to count and my win/loss record in them speaks for it self. Seth, you are going to learn that this is professional wrestling. If you want to be the king of the Junkyard then there are plenty of places you can go do that. But in Boise I am going to beat the living BEEPED out of and then hang you out to dry. Then I will claim the LPW Hardcore Championship and be forever known as the man who took out Ocean69 piece by piece by piece. It’s to bad Cynical had that thing with Roseanne cause I sure would have liked to taste a piece of that. But I can settle for knowing that I ran Pope Fred and Zest out of the LPW. Wherever they are held up in traction, after this match you will be joining them. I don’t need any cut catchphrases for this one Seth, there will be no rubber match. It ends in Boise and I guarandamntee that.

''Phantom is seen calling over a stockboy and he pulls off the length of chain Phantom wants and he bags it up as the shot fades to black