What It Means to Be Australian

What It Means to Be Australian was an e-wrestling promo written by MC Steel on July 3, 2010 as part his book Living on the Straight Edge. It was for the first round of the LPW World Cup. The promo won him the International Battle Royal, with 4 votes.

Promo


REPORT: SYDNEY IS BEING TAKEN OVER BY THE REST OF THE WORLD

Steel slams the paper down on the table, and rolls his eyes.

Steel: I knew this would happen. Kross "had to be loyal to Austalia" and hold the first event in Australia. Now we've got the random supporters from who knows where!

Pleasant: I knew I shouldn't of come back to this hellhole...

Steel: Hellhole! We are Australians! We have to represent our country! Think, the LPW World Cup will has more supporters than the State of Origin, AFL Premiership games, and the Australian Open combined!

Cripsy: But tennis is just boring, and NSW always lose.

Steel: Thanks, Shane. Now I have to think of another reason to represent our country.

Pleasent: We could sing the national anthem?

Styxx: Please don't let me sing it again...

Steel: It needs a bit of... oomph.

Cripsy: Oomph?

Steel: Oomph.

Steel runs into his bedroom and for the next hour, the sounds of singing and guitar strumming could be heard. Then Steel comes back in, guitar in hand.

Steel: OK, I got it. Just hum along.

Cripsy: Oh god....

''L-P-dubs got lots of peeps, ''from different countries; ''We’ve had many people from our land, And now sing along please.

''There’s Black Ada, from the city of Darwin, ''And Tromboner Man; ''Kafudamaha, and Peter Saint, And that other dude who’s a man.

''Then there’s Styxx, our favourite son…

Steel: I knew I should of restringed this damn guitar.

Styxx: Wait, I got it. I’ll make a speech.

Pleasant: Oh god…

''I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. ''It is a dream deeply rooted in the Australian dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident" that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the hills of New South Wales, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Tasmania, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day the state of…

Pleasant: My god you bore me!

Styxx: Do YOU have a better idea?!

Pleasant: Actually, I do.

''I came from the dreamtime from the dusty red soil plains ''I am the ancient heart, the keeper of the flame ''I stood upon the rocky shore ''I watched the tall ships come ''For forty thousand years I'd been the first Australian.

''I came upon the prison ship bowed down by iron chains. ''I cleared the land, endured the lash and waited for the rains. ''I'm a settler. ''I'm a farmer's wife on a dry and barren run ''A convict then a free man I became Australian.

''I'm the daughter of a digger who sought the mother lode ''The girl became a woman on the long and dusty road ''I'm a child of the depression ''I saw the good times come ''I'm a bushy, I'm a battler ''I am Australian

''We are one, but we are many ''And from all the lands on earth we come ''We share a dream and sing with one voice: ''I am, you are, we are Australian I am, you are, we are Australian.

Steel: See, Daniel did it. He showed what us Australians stand for.

Pleasant: Yes!

Steel: But, don’t copy everything from A TRADITONAL SONG!

Pleasant: I thought no one remembered that song?

Steel: Well I DO! Shane, do you have any ideas.

Cripsy: Nope.

Steel: Well, I’m stuffed. Anyone want pizza?

Pleasant: I’ll have Hawaiian.

Styxx: Meatlovers for me please.

Cripsy: Meatlovers?

Styxx: See, I knew you didn’t know what type of pizza I like!