The Introduction of Norwegian Beast into the Wild Cards

The Introduction of Norwegian Beast into the Wild Cards was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in February 2005. It was re-posted as the second promo in The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 The lights dim, and the spotlights come on, shining Amber and Burgundy through the arena, as the regal sounds of Yngwie Malmsteen’s “Amberdawn” ''being sot peal forth. The fans react with enthusiasm, freely mixing cheers with boos. Wevv appears at the head of the ramp. He paused to soak in the reaction before making his way down the aisle, trailed by Mr. Wang. A fan heckles him at the bottom, holding up a sign that has a picture of Rabbi pinning Wevv, and the caption reads “Whats The Plan Now, Chump?” only the a is scratched out into a u. Wevv pauses and stares the guy goes nuts, trying to rile Wevv up. Wevv misses only a beat before he gives the guy the Buddy Wevv, and heads to the ring. Once inside, Wevv paces, while from nowhere, a chant starts up, and gathers steam. It’s a simple one. '''“LOOO-SER! LOOO-SER! LOOO-SER!”'. ''Wevv bristles at the chant, but forces a smile. Mr. Wang hands him a microphone. Wevv pauses as the chant picks up steam, and then fades as he speaks.

Wevv: Very creative cretins. I didn’t think you had it in you. My, the world is just full of surprises. Like the surprise I had at Revelations. My good friend Dragon got greedy. It’s only understandable, as I had raised the Television Title to such great heights, he was unable to resist the sirens call. But I paid the price. It was quite a learning experience.

''At the mention of Red Dragon’s name, a mixture of boos and cheers rings forth. Wevv slowly paces the ring as he speaks.

Wevv: Indeed, we now found out how many men it takes to beat Wevv.

''Wevv stops and turns to stare right into the camera, and raises his widespread hand.

Wevv: The lucky number is five. It takes five men to beat me.

''Cheers cry out at the news.

Wevv: Bear that in mind friends. But there is a more pressing matter to address. I hear by call out the New Television Champion, the man who snuck off with my belt, and kept the Tag Titles from me, RABBI! If you have the balls oh Hebrew Hammer, then you won’t mind joining me in the ring?

The crowd erupts as “The Outsider” by Perfect Circle ''plays over the loudspeakers. Wevv raises his microphone to speak, but Rabbi cuts him off, talking as he walks down the ramp.

Rabbi: Hold your horses Wevv! I’m coming. But the weight of these TWO belts is slowing me down. My, they are heavy, and I can't decide which one should go where. You know, the TV title is nice and silvery and really brings out my eyes when on my shoulder, but this Tag Team Title is a nice gold color and goes so well with my ring attire. They looks so cool on top of each other, but it makes it hard to move. SO tell me Wevv...

''Rabbi has entered the ring, and is standing a pace away from Wevv, and smiling,

Rabbi: Which do you think should go on my shoulder? The Tag Team Title?

''Rabbi shifts it up to his shoulder, the crowd cheers. Wevv just stares coldly.

Rabbi:... OR, The Television Championship? You used to wear it on your shoulder, but I think it looks SO much better around My waist, don’t you think?

''The crowd goes nuts as Rabbi shows off his title to Wevv. Wevv stares a few seconds, then breaks out into a cold smile and gives golf clap.

Wevv: Oh Rabbi, you cad.

Rabbi: Now Wevv, we all know what this is about. So let’s cut the crap. You want a rematch for MY Television championship. So, you called me out, and you’re going to use all those big words to make yourself sound smart, and then I’ll have to get the upper hand, and put you in your place and tell you to wait your turn. So, now that that’s out of way, let’s cut to the chase. The answer is [b]WAIT YOUR TURN! I promised to defend the title, and I will, against [b]ALL Comers, not just you, no matter how much you bitch!

''Wevv looks amused as Rabbi speaks, looking out at the crowd eating up every word.

Wevv: Well, you certainly showed me. My word, whatever will i do now? I could say how it took five men to take me down so that you could steal my belt. Or about having to defend my title and then wrestle for my rightful tag title. Or, I could say that now that I have been denied, that once again, i am being placed in matches that will keep me from my goals. Or

''Wevv turns and goes nose to nose with Rabbi. Rabbi doesn’t back down, but stares right into Wevv’s eyes.

Wevv: OR, I could just beat you to bloody pulp, and then strip those titles off of you.

''The stares continue, as the crowd eats it up. Wevv finally takes step back.

Wevv: But I think not. You see Rabbi, I know that I can take you anytime I want. So, I promise you this. I won’t lay a finger on you until gold is one the line. So enjoy yourself.

''Wevv has created distance between himself and Rabbi, giving Rabbi a clear shot as his back, but he then turns, all smiles, and lounges against the ropes. Rabbi is smiling too.

Rabbi: So, is this the part where some on jumps me from behind? HEY! Cameraman!

''The scene on the Titan tron shows Sick Nick sitting on a forklift in front of the Wildcard’s locker room. He’s reading the comics section.

“Sick” Nick: HEY! Keep in down in there! Oh Marmaduke, you crazy dog...

''Wevv turns back to Rabbi, his face pale.

Wevv: Now Rabbi, let’s not be hasty here...

Rabbi: See, I pay attention Wevv. I remember Mass Chaos, and I know a threat when I hear one. So, how about that ass whipping you were planning...

''Rabbi takes slow steps towards Wevv, who has his hands raised in front of him.

Wevv: Easy Rabbi, Easy!

''Wevv is back into the ropes,and looks for a way to escape.

Wevv: I promised I wouldn’t lay a finger on you and I meant it.

''A sudden noise form the crowd causes Rabbi to stop and look around. Seeing Mr. Wang in the corner, he is surprised to see Mr. Wang smile and wave at him. He stares at Wevv, who is now smiling as well.

''Rabbi turns and looks into the chest of Norwegian Beast.

''Beast grabs Rabbi, taking him by surprise, and hoist him up,a nd delivers a spine breaking JackHammer. The crowd erupts in Boos. Wevv composes himself, and lifts his mic again, he goes over and squats down by Rabbi, who is gasping for breath and barely moving.

Wevv: Nice move with Nick, Rabbi, but there’s something you should know. There’s a new member of the Wild Cards. You just met him.

''Wevv straightens up.

Wevv: There’s one thing ALL of you should know. The Wild Cards CANNOT be Broken! No matter how you stack the deck, the Wild Card have the edge. Nothing beats Five Of A Kind! Take that to heart! See you soon Rabbi!

“Orion” By Metallica ''starts up. Wevv shakes NWB’s hand, and together, they raise their arms in victory. NWB and Wevv both spit on Rabbi as they leave the ring. Rabbi is moving but still unable to stand. Medics rush down the ramp, but stop as Wevv, Beast, and Mr. Wang make their way up. Beast encourages them to try and get by him. “Sick” Nick charges out from the back but stops as he faces the Wild Cards. He takes a quick look to the ring, and shoves the techs on. He points at Wevv and Beast and mouths dire threats, before hurrying to catch up to the medics.

''At the top of the ramp the party pauses to look back on their work. Wevv claps Norwegian beast on the shoulder, as the crowd boos, shaking the very building. Wevv laughs before turning and leading his cohorts back through the curtain.