Son of Shockey promo (Boise)

Son of Shockey promo (Boise) was an e-wrestling promo written by Son of Shockey for the Insanity LIVE from Boise telecast.

[I]Today, we find ourselves at the site of the ever-interesting Insanity interviews. A wide-screen television monitor glows with the Insanity logo on it behind one [B]Jonathan Crotchman[/B]. Crotch looks ready to go, but a sense of fear dwells underneath the initial peppiness[/I].

[B]Crotchman:[/B] Ladies and gentlemen, we have an action-packed Insanity coming up for you this week. One of the many matches on the card will be Crazy Ash Killa defending his Transatlantic title against Son of Shockey. Please help me introduce CAK’s challenger, SOS.

[I][B]Shockey[/B] saunters on set, wearing his ever-present sadistic grin. Decked out in his usual Insanity’s Solution tee-shirt and green athletic shorts, Shockey looks more like he’s about to step in the ring than conduct an interview.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Good evening, Mr. Crotchman! Enjoying your time here in Boise?

[B]Crotchman:[/B] Well, actually, it is pre—

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Well, I’m not. This silly little city doesn’t deserve to be the place where I claim my first-ever LPW title. It’s way, WAY too small and unnoticeable for such a crowning achievement.

[B]Crotchman:[/B] Erm…

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Then again, me winning that title here could really do a lot of good for Boise. Hell, people would be coming in flocks to visit the arena where Son of Shockey’s reign of dominance began! Flocks, I tell you.

[I]Shockey snickers, while Crotchman composes himself.[/I]

[B]Crotchman:[/B] As was mentioned, you’ve got the opportunity to win the Transatlantic championship, but you’ll have to go through Crazy Ash Killa.

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Really now? I do? Gee, I’ve only known this for, like, several days now. Hey, maybe you can remind me what my name is and what university I went to, in case I suffer from amnesia.

[I]Shockey laughs and shakes his head, before turning his attention to the camera.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] As Crotch said, I face one Crazy Ash Killa on Insanity. The same Crazy Ash Killa who’s career I jumpstarted.

[B]Crotchman:[/B] I’m not following you…

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] It’s really simple. Several months ago, I faced Ash one on one, at the Insanity Christmas special. It was that match, it was the fact that he beat me, that set his career off.

[I]Written all over Crotch’s face is clear confusion.[/I]

[B]Crotchman:[/B] …huh?

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Buffoon. See, he beat me that night, and quite impressively, too. I put up one hell of a fight, but alas, it was not enough to bring down the beast. No, instead of bringing down the beast…it catapulted the beast into stardom. The very next show, Honor Roll, what was Ash doing?

[B]Crotchman:[/B] Challenging for the International Heavyweight Chmapionship.

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Exactly! You see? If it wasn’t for me, Ash wouldn’t have gotten that chance! Ash owes everything to me!

[B]Crotchman:[/B] I’m not sure that’s how it works…

[I]At this point, Shockey loses the grin. His mouth turns into a grimace of displeasure.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] You’re not sure? You’re not sure?

[I]SOS, surprisingly, smiles again.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] That’s easily fixable!

[I]In a flash, Shockey grabs Crotchman by the collar, and pulls him so that the two are nose to nose. Shockey’s face is one of fierce anger; Crotchman’s more resembles the look one has whilst flinching before a blow comes.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] I’m sure that’s EXACTLY how it works. If I had wanted to, I could have ripped Ash to shreds. I could have embarrassed him during that show. I could have destroyed any future title shots he may have thought were coming. But I didn’t. Instead, I allowed him to win. And look what has happened.

[I]Shockey turns his head to look into the camera.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Title shots, a place high up on the card, being Transatlantic champion…that’s all because of me. Had I beaten him, none of that would have occurred. It all would have been given to me. Ash would have been embarrassed by some hot-shit rookie too full of himself. Would he then have received everything that he did? Ha! No fuckin’ way.

[I]SOS turns his focus back to Crotchman. Shockey begins to sneer.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Crotch, Ash is lucky, very lucky, that I was that nice to him. Because…

[I]Shockey shakes his head.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B] [/COLOR] …I’m not going to be that nice to him this time around. I need that belt.

[I]Shockey releases the grip on Crotchman, who’s visibly shaken. SOS stares daggers through Crotchman, who tries to regain some composure before continuing with the interview.[/I]

[B]Crotchman (nervously):[/B] Yes, well…hasn’t your position always been that you never needed titles? That your goal could be accomplished without winning a belt?

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS (pauses for a moment in reflection, before smiling and continuing):[/B][/COLOR] Why yes, yes it has. I believed that my actions alone would do what I would need. If I was violent enough, people would listen. Sadly, that isn’t the case, as you’ve seen. Very few people have actually been influenced by me.

[I]Shockey gives a little laugh. Little, but unsettling.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B] [/COLOR] But that will all change once I leave the ring with the belt. You see, Crotch, by me winning the belt, my message can go on, louder than ever. My message of cleansing this diseased brand will be legitimized by me winning the title. People will see that I can back up what I say, and then…

[I]SOS shrugs.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS: [/B][/COLOR] Things will happen from there. What will those things be? Hell, I don’t know. But those things will be very disastrous for those sad sacks of flesh who cling to everything they love about this brand. They’ll have to cheer true talent, like myself, instead of the garbage and stupidity of the likes of Hatchet, Seth Omega—who I beat in his own Hardcore element, might I add—and the Watchmen.

[B]Crotchman:[/B] And you winning the Transatlantic title will make this all happen?

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] I assure you, it will. I win the belt, I can further voice my message, and I can influence more people. I influence more people, and they start to understand where I’m coming from when I say this brand is disgusting and in need of a good healing. They understand that, and I have people cheering for me, people on my side.

[I]SOS utters another little laugh, this one sounding several times more sinister than the one before it.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] And with people on my side, this brand will become MINE. It’ll be changed into what it should be, with people like me being the ones getting the cheers. People like me…and my new friend.

[B]Crotchman:[/B] Friend?

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Oh, yes. See, I’ve been listening to this man speak. And this man, though I hated him at first, this man is making sense. So much sense, in fact, that he’s beginning to sound, well, like me. This friend of mine is very intelligent, much smarter than most people give him credit for. And, after a few phone calls to put the past aside and work together, has agreed that the two of us, him and I, can use our power and sway to help fix this broken brand.

[B]Crotchman:[/B] An interesting development here. So, tell me, who’s your—

[I]Before Crotchman can finish his question, a large, burly, bearded man steps into him, nearly knocking the interviewer over. The camera looks up to see the six-foot-eleven monster of a man [B]Steve Monroe[/B] smiling vicously.[/I]

[COLOR="Orange"][B]Monroe: [/B][/COLOR] Take a wild guess, Crotchman.

[I]SOS bursts into his trademark laughter, while Monroe merely smiles brightly. Crotchman maneuvers his way to be in the middle of the two men, microphone in hand, and sheer bewilderment in his eyes.[/I]

[B]Crotchman:[/B] Steve Monroe is this “friend” of yours?

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B] [/COLOR] Indeed, sir! Like me, Steve here sees that Insanity is plagued.

[COLOR="orange"][B]Monroe:[/B][/COLOR] People like Hatchet get pushed, while Shockey and I get stuck facing Kafu. Is that fair at all? With the intellect that we have, no, it is not. The system is broken, all fucked up, and me and SOS here are going to fix it.

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Exactly. We will right this ship. And it starts in Boise. It starts with me defeating Crazy Ash Killa and rightfully claiming the Transatlantic championship.

[COLOR="orange"][B]Monroe (in a tone of disgust):[/B][/COLOR] Crazy Ash Killa. As you’ve all seen, I’ve taken some issue with him and his friends in the Three Wiseman.

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Fuck, if they were wise, they’d be you and me, now wouldn’t they?

[COLOR="orange"][B]Monroe:[/B][/COLOR] Right! Their claims of being ‘Wise’ are utter bullshit and completely unfounded. Shockey and I plan on putting this on full display at this upcoming show. When we outsmart those three, and we both walk away winners, we’ll show them who the true Wiseman of Insanity—

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Of all LPW!

[COLOR="orange"][B]Monroe:[/B][/COLOR] —of all LPW are. Steve Monroe and Son of Shockey, once bitter enemies, now will work together to heal the wounds and fix the scars of Insanity. We will make this brand watchable again.

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Ash, X, Villiano, you are all first. And once we’re done with you, we go up from their. We cleanse this brand from the top down—the trickle-down effect—and we do whatever it takes to make sure you people pay us the attention we deserve.

[COLOR="orange"][B]Monroe:[/B] [/COLOR] And after you, it will be those wretched Watchmen or Misfits, whichever too-full-of-God team holds the tag straps by then. They’re just as bad as X and his gang of fuck-buddies, although people don’t quite understand that.

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Not yet they don’t. But it doesn’t matter. We’ll teach them. We’ll shine a revealing light down on both of these teams, and expose them as the frauds they are. But before that, we must, must, MUST focus on our matches in Boise.

[COLOR="orange"][B]Monore:[/B][/COLOR] Whether you like it or not, Ash is losing that title, Shockey is going to win his first championship, and we are going to be the ones who save this place from its sickness. Because this brand is quite disgusting.

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Almost makes me want to go to Inferno.

[I]SOS sniggers to himself. Crotchman looks from Shockey, to Monore, and back again, before looking into the camera.[/I]

[B]Crotchman:[/B] This has been an enlightening interview. Can CAK handle Shockey and his new-found union with Steve Monroe? We’ll find out at Insanity. Signing off for Insanity…

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] Signing off? We’re not quite done, are we?

[I]Monroe grabs Crotchman’s neck in a vice-like grip, his huge hands swallowing up whole Crotchman’s throat. SOS giggles with malicious glee, before snatching the microphone out of Crotchman’s hand.[/I]

[COLOR="green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] We’re done when we [I]say[/I] we’re done. Ash, that belt is mine. I made you into what you are now, and I will take everything away from you. I’ll send you back to the bottom of the scrap-pile, clawing your way back to the top. And should you ever get back near the top, I’ll kick you off again. Your disease-riddled mind will be saved only when you realize you can’t ever make it back to the top after I’m done with you. Ash, I’m winning this match. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Consider yourself…Hurricane Warned.

[I]Monroe hurls Crotchman backwards, throwing him against the wall with a force that causes the aforementioned monitor to fall off. Shockey drops the mic before giving his famous laugh.[/I]

[COLOR="Green"][B]SOS:[/B][/COLOR] [SIZE="7"]HAHAHAHAHA![/SIZE]

[I]SOS lashes out at the camera with a right-handed haymaker. The shot knocks the camera down, blacking it out and effectively ending the interview.[/I]