Taking Care of Business

Taking Care of Business was an e-wrestling segment written by Wevv Mang in February 2006 as part of the Schizophrenia LIVE from Boston telecast. It was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 ''Wevv and Mr. Wang are walking backstage. A female production assistant is at Wevv’s side, holding out a clipboard, which she and Wevv are going over as they walk. Mr. Willie appears in the shot.

Mr. Willie: Wevv! May I ask you a few questions?

Wevv: And be sure to tell the pyrotechnicians they have out done themselves tonight. Great job. Mr. Willie! Ask away my good man, but we’ll have to walk and talk. Million things to do!

Mr. Willie: Wevv, everyone wants to know, why did you cost Rabbi his match?

Wevv: I didn’t do anything! Edible won that match! Edible Matheson, who was once Abandoned, but now has found himself! He saw an opportunity and he took it! He won that match on his own!

Mr. Willie: Speaking of the Abandoned, rumors are swirling that you personally chose the person Mass Chaos was traded for.

Wevv: I did have a hand in the negotiations, and Lou (Wevv chokes up, and stops in his tracks. He pats a fist over his heart and looks into the camera) Get well soon, Buddy! I’m rooting for you! We all are! (Wevv resumes his stride) Lou, was persuaded to see the benefit in my selection. Indeed, this certain some one will help in the quest for Truth here on Schizo. On Pyro, he wasn’t allowed to ask the questions he wanted answers for, but here on Schizo, it’s all about opportunities!

''The group comes to a lone figure, hunched over, and his head in his hands.

Wevv: Like this poor fellow! What’s your name, friend?

Man: Nobody.

Wevv: Now, now, one loss doesn’t make you a nobody! You’re a somebody!

''Mr. Wang leans over and whispers in Wevv’s ear. Wevv’s smile doesn’t slip, but does seem frozen in place. The man is now glaring at Wevv.

Wevv: Ah, I see. Clever. Well, MR. Nobody, I saw your match tonight, and while you didn’t win, you didn’t loose either. I saw the heart of a lion in your eyes, and now I see the bleakness of despair. I’m here to help you. I’m willing to offer you an opportunity, an opportunity of a lifetime! Mr. Wang! My card, good sir. If you’re willing to strive to better yourself, then call me. I’m always here to help our employees reach their true potential. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see a pressing matter that I must attend to. Mr. Willie, always a pleasure, but that’s all the time I can spare right now.

''The camera pans down the hallway, where we see Villiano and 2TX deep in conversation. As the crew moves in range, we hear-:

2TX: - I’m not even booked on this show! Come on man! I thought you were running this place!

Vil: I’ve told you before, Lou is in charge, but look, I’ll talk to him and see what I can do. I gotta tell you, that belt looked good on you. Just keep doing what you do, and you’ll bounce back in no time!

Wevv: That’s the spirit!

Vil: Oh God no…

Wevv: Even in this trying time, you’re taking the time to boost the morale, regardless of the great personal strain this tragedy has put you under. That’s why you’re my hero Vil.

Vil: What did you say?

2TX: Is this guy for real?

Wevv: Such selfless sacrifice deserves a reward, and what better reward than to give you what you’ve always wanted!

Vil: You’re going to shut up for a week?

2TX: Look, since I don’t have anything better to do tonight, I think I’m outta here. I only stopped by to talk to Vil and Lou and see if I could get another title shot, and Vil won’t help me-

Vil: Hey! I said I would-

2TX: - Talk to Lou, who isn’t here.

Wevv: He’s in our hearts!

2TX: Shut up!

Vil: (in a low voice) If only he would! (In his normal tone) X, listen, Lou is running the show, and since he’s in the hospital, Wevv is in charge. I can understand not wanting to put up with Wevv, believe me, I totally understand-

Wevv: BUT, in this matter there is no choice. 2TX, walk with me.

2TX: Fuck that, I’m outta here!

Vil: X, wait a second!

Wevv: Indeed! As my brother was saying, I am in charge tonight, and I didn’t forget about you, Mr. Too Extreme For The Merchandise Booth. Since you refused my earlier offer, I have another for you. One, I think, that you will like. Now, I have a show to run, so, (In a cold and menacing voice to 2TX) walk with me.

Vil: What do you have in mind Wevv?

Wevv: Don’t you worry about it. My friend 2TX - (Wevv puts an arm around 2TX’s shoulder, which he brushes off quickly)

2TX: Get off me!

Wevv: - and I have matters to discuss, while you, my partner, my brother, have a match to prepare for. Not tonight, but very soon. A very special match, the one you have been wanting, it will be you and Spectre, One On One, in a LAST MAN STANDING STEEL CAGE MATCH!

Vil: You got the match? But didn’t Borash say-

Wevv: Borash?!? That idiot?!?! Oh, you crack me up! V, it’s me, your buddy Wevv, you think that putz could get the best out of me in a deal? Please. I’d be insulted if I didn’t know you were joking. Now, if you’ll excuse us, my brother, my partner, 2TX and I have some business to talk about. Privately. But don’t worry, you’ll know soon enough. It’s a surprise for an old friend of ours. It’s what Lou would have wanted.

''Wevv makes a motion that he and 2TX should stat walking and they do. Soon, the whole posse has walked by. Villiano is left standing in the hallway, watching them go, standing still. He finally mutters:

Vil: Lou’s not dead you know…

''Before turning and walking down the hallway. In the opposite direction.