It's Not All About Biscuits and Gravy

It's Not All About Biscuits and Gravy was an e-wrestling mid-show segment written by Wevv Mang in April, 2006 as part of the Schizophrenia LIVE from Charlotte telecast. The segment featured Wevv conversing with Pen to force into a hardcore match against "Sick" Nick at Revelations. The segment was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 Wevv is pacing in his dressing room. A knock on the door is heard. Wevv turns to face the door and shouts.

Wevv: Come in!

Mr. Wang enters, carrying a box.

Wevv: Ah, Mr. Wang? Is that it?

Mr. Wang opens the box and pulls out a ref shirt. Wevv takes it and holds it up at arms length. He then holds the shirt up in front of him, and looks at himself in a full-length mirror. He hands the shirt back to Mr. Wang and starts to remove his suit coat and tie. He begins to unbutton his shirt.

Wevv: Ah, splendid! This should be quite fun! Frankly, I was a bit perturbed when Lou named me special ref in this match, but since then, I’ve had time to think. Indeed, this could be quite…fulfilling.

Wevv pulls the shirt over his head, while behind him a voice speaks.

Lou: I’m glad you find it satisfactory.

Wevv: Louis! I didn’t hear you come in!

Lou: Well deputy, since you’re on call this night, there’s one little other matter I’d like you to take care of.

Wevv: Of course Louis, you know you can count on me. Just name it and it’s as good as done!

Lou: Glad to hear it Wevv! I want you to talk to Pen…

Wevv’s smile freezes. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Pen is in his locker room, doing Hindu Squats. He’s still in his ring gear. A knock is heard at his door, but he doesn’t answer. He’s focused on his preparation. A second round of knocking is heard. A look of annoyance crosses Pen’s face, and mid squat he barks out:

Pen: What?!?

Wevv enters, followed by Mr. Wang.

Wevv: Pen! My dear friend! Sorry to disturb you, but there’s something I need to talk to you about.

Pen: Vous fils d'une chienne ! Vous osez montrer votre visage laid dedans ici après yous servi d'équipier me hors du titre ? ? ? Je vais détruire le you!!!

Wevv: (In French) Hold on! You lay one hand on me and you’ll wish Robert Stack had left you an Unsolved Mystery!

Pen: (In French) You better start talking quickly then…

Wevv: (In French) You miserable and ungrateful CUR! How dare you to complain to Lou about being given a chance at the mere Television Title? I didn’t see a man who wanted to be champion out there, I saw a lazy man take the easy way! I saw some one who wasn’t DETERMINED to be a champion!

Pen: (In French) You did not just say that.. you must have a death wish little man…

Wevv: (In French) Are you saying that the Television Title, My very first title, one very close to my heart, one I raised from the midden heap to represent the very greatest potential to grace the PWA, is not worthy of the Great and Mighty Pen? The man who RAN AWAY to prison? You know who you met there? Losers and Idiots, that’s who! Dangerous and vicious nonetheless, but FAILURES all the same! The ones with TRUE talent walk the streets with impunity! But you..you locked yourself in a hole in the ground, far away from your enemies….you coward.

Pen leaps towards Wevv, but Mr. Wang, who had faded into the background, emerges holding tong fe pops up beside Wevv. Pen holds himself back with an effort. Wevv doesn’t even flinch, but sneers at Pen.

Wevv: Is this the vaunted determination you keep going on about? I am not impressed…

Wevv turns to leave, but Pen speaks.

Pen: Coming from some one hiding behind a desk, that means little to me. Step into the ring with me and I’ll be happy to show you how determined I am. To hurt you.

Wevv stops and turns back to face Pen.

Wevv: Oh really? Determined to inflict pain on my person are you? Well, let’s test that statement, shall we? Next week, you’ll have a chance to show me. It will be you against two, no, for some one as determined as you say you are, that’s insufficient, ah, THREE of Schizo’s top talent in a handicap match!

Pen clenches his jaw, and his body tenses.

Wevv: Ah, I see that doesn’t quite suit you! So, let’s make sure that fiery passion doesn’t go to waste! At Revelations, I think you need to really show the fans your determination by taking on the Hardcore Legend, “Sick” Nick in, what else? A HARDCORE MATCH!

Wevv turns to leave, and Pen smashes his fist into the locker. At the noise Wevv turns back.

Wevv: Oh, and silly me, I forgot to mention, since you’re the greatest, HA! Technical wrestler in the PWA, you won’t need weapons. After all, you have DETERMINATION on your side! Ta!

Wevv finally leaves, while Pen stares bare hatred after Wevv…