Wevv vs. Fixx, the Promo

Wevv vs. Fixx, the Promo was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in July 2005. It was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years. The promo kicked off Wevv's feud with former Wild Cards protégé, Sick Fixx.

Promo
 ''The lights dim, and the subtle sounds of Yngwie Malmsteen’s “Amberdawn” Play forth from the loudspeakers. The crowd is on their feet, as the silhouette of Wevv Mang appears in front of the Videoscreen across the entryway. Wevv turns as the spotlights hit him, and Mr. Wang appears behind him, as the two make their way down the aisle. Wevv, US Tag Team Title around his waist, can’t help but look surprised as the reaction from the crowd. Signs dot them, and this time, they are positive. Before Wevv enters the ring, he stops in front of a huge banner, being held by a group of people wearing sports coats and ties. The Sign says “ Followers Of The PLAN!”. Wevv laughs. He makes the lean in to high five them but backs off at the last second with a chuckle. The groups laughs with him and give him the Buddy Wevv. Wevv shakes his head, but a huge grin is on his face as he climbs the steps and gets in the ring. The spotlights still dance as Wevv stands front and center. The music fades and the lights come back on. Mr. Wang appears and hands Wevv a mic. Before Wevv can speak, a huge “Wevv Mang” chants drowns out the slight boos. Wevv tilts his head back and a look of frustration crosses his face. He turns to Mr. Wang and raises his arms in “What the hell?” fashion. Mr. Wang can only shake his head in confusion. Wevv spins and speaks.

Wevv: Will you people shut the hell up! I have something to say!

''A huge cheer greets him. Wevv looks shocked.

Wevv: What the hell is wrong with you scum? Do you know who I am? If you mindless boobs can’t shut up, I’ll just go to the back!

''Another huge cheer greets Wevv.

Wevv: Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you? Just for that, I was going to keep this brief!

''A “Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!” chant breaks out. Wevv smiles at this.

Wevv: Ah, it appears you do know me after all. Very well then. The other day, while entering MK, I was stopped by a mere peasant who had the gall to ask me this question. “Wevv, Why?”. I had security remove the man immediately, as it was clear he could never afford to eat at MK’s, and thus must be some type of stalker. But then more oddness. The waiters, normally reserved and discreet around their patrons, also asked me, “ Why stand up to the Illumanati Wevv?”. It ruined my evening. But it doesn’t stop there. Constantly I am being asked, “Wevv, why tangle with the Illumanati? Shouldn’t you be happy that they have overthrown Villiano?” Well, my ignorant pissants, I will do you the great honor of telling you why, though it should be obvious!

Wevv: I was there when SoL threw Snapple to his doom. Did I not laugh? I enjoyed it thoroughly. I saw what happened to my good friend The D when he crossed the Illumanati. Now, he is a glorified parrot, mouthing the words the Illumanati want him to say, barely eking out an existence! Do you see? Is it not clear? Must I go on and spell it out for you? Very well then my slow mental midgets, I will!

''Wevv moves and leans on the ropes, and stares into the camera, as the crowd grows restless, eager to hear his explanation.

Wevv: Because I am an obvious threat, and I have seen how the Illumanati deals with threats. Did not my tag team partner Red Dragon have to face my former protégé while injured? No, I saw what was in store and I decided to act!

Wevv: But Wevv, you may say. Why have I not joined them in their quest for dominance? Because I am a LEADER! A CHAMPION! I play second fiddle to NO MAN! Were I join them, I would soon find myself placed far from the real power and delegated to the Illumanati B-Team. Like Ham, or those fools on Pyro. A glorified Errand boy and lackey. I AM BETTER THAN THAT! did not graduate early from Yale at the tender age of 20 to become a coffee fetching schmuck For a man whose knowledge of Wall Street is limited to how close is the nearest strip club! And as for Phantom Lord? HAH! Mind games! His idea of mind games is to hit you with a very large and very heavy object! BAH!

Wevv: So, what was I supposed to do? Hope that Villiano’s “brilliant” lawsuit will do the trick? HAH! When Robert Blake, Michael Jackson, and Kenneth Lay go free, that should be answer enough. I, who have played the courts for years, know better than that. Let Rabble lead the charge? Again, I say HAH! I know he’s lucky, but only for himself. “Sick” Nick has been broken. Wait for 2TX to carry the battle to them? Oh, that is RICH! How many times has he had the opportunity and FAILED? Too many! No, I must do this myself, since I apparently am the only one capable of actually carrying out the task!

Wevv: In other words, I’m going to, in your base lingo and since SoL has called me low brow, ahem, “Get ‘Er DONE!”

''The crowd erupts.

Wevv: But I have one more message to deliver tonight. My dear former protégé Sick Fixx. You may no longer be my pupil, but apparently I still am teaching you. You see, I know you much better than you think you know me. I know for a fact that the temptation to cost me my title would be too great to pass up. So, I arranged a little match for you and my other little “problem”. That should keep you busy and out of my hair. You should have run Fixx. It’s not too late. I highly advise you to take that course of action. FOr you see, I am going to be very busy and I can;t afford to have you as a distraction. I give you this one last chance, before you force my hand to remove you from the picture completely.

''The crowd boos. Wevv, unfazed, begins pacing.

Wevv: It was one year ago, that I made a promise to you SoL. In a run down radio station in Manchester, I swore then that I would not raise a hand against you while you held the Heavyweight Championship. One year later, and you STILL have that belt. And I have kept my word. But now, you would raise your hand against ME! So be it! Then the deal in null and void!

Wevv: But if you INSIST on challenging me, then be prepared. Détente has been canceled and as Phantom so quaintly said, there are times when force must be used to make your point heard. And my point is very simple. You waxed eloquent about history recently. I highly suggest you familiarize yourself with MY history. And learn the lesson it teaches.

Wevv: If it’s a war you want, then it’s a war you’ll get. But while you throw up smoke screens of politics and patriotism, I’ll be the one ignoring your bluster and cutting right to the heart of the matter. Red Dragon and I know better. After all, we’re CHAMPIONS in more than name.