The Vacation is Over

The Vacation is Over (also called Wevv Returns From Vacation) was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in July 2006. The segment was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 ''The crowd is rowdy, when suddenly over the speakers comes a new song. Jimmy Buffet’s “The Weather Is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful” takes the arena by storm. The crowd gets to their feet. Is this new wrestler making a debut? The crowd can only wonder. The lights dim, and the burgundy and gold spotlights dance across their upturned faces. Two figures emerge and stand still. Then, Wevv’s entrance video plays. The lights come back on, and a spotlight hits Wevv and Mr. Wang. The crowd reacts this time, but it’s tinged with confusion.

''Wevv and Mr. Wang are wearing shorts. And Hawaiian shirts. And straw hats. Wevv is holding a very large glass in one hand. Mr. Wang is carrying a large cooler. The two make their way down the ring. Wevv is taking swigs from his drink with the little umbrellas, and large straws. Mr. Wang climbs the ring steps and holds open the ropes for Wevv, as Jimmy Buffet plays on.

''Wevv finally gets in the ring, and the lights show just how tan he is. The song fades away, and Mr. Wang produces a mic. He hands it to Wevv. Wevv pauses as a “Wevv Mang!” chant breaks out, and duels with a hearty “ASSHOLE!” chant.

Wevv: Ah, Schizophrenia, how I’ve missed you.

''Another round of cheers and boos erupts.

Wevv: It’s good to be back! But what has happened to MY show? I walked into the building and went by SoL’s dressing room, and you know what I heard? Crying! And Depeche Mode! Cranked! I walked the halls and saw everyone looking murder at each other! I stopped by the Payroll Dressing room and saw a sign taped to the door that said, well, I can't repeat what it said on the air, but let me assure you, it was not flattering! I went to see Lou, and found him barricaded in the control truck, and ranting about 2TX! I went to my office and found all of my things replaced with trophies from Japan with Nobody’s name on it! This place has been turned inside out! IN TWO WEEKS!

''Wevv shakes his head, and drains his drink. The crowd is rowdy, but quiet.

Wevv: I must say, I am deeply ashamed that things have gotten so out of hand. I have only myself to blame.

''Wevv lowers his head, and turns to Mr. Wang. He places a hand on his shoulder. He also holds out his glass. Mr. Wang opens the cooler and pulls out a steel cylinder. He shakes it, and pours out a red liquid into Wevv’s margarita glass. Wevv takes a sip and nods his head. And raises the mic again.

Wevv: Wait, that’s not true. I DO have some one to blame! And do you know whom I blame?

''The crowd screams "PEN! PEN! PEN! PEN!”. Wevv just shakes his head and laughs. He goes over to the ring ropes and leans on them.

Wevv: You pathetic FOOLS! You honestly think PEN is to blame? Pen? The same man I have made dance to MY tune for weeks? HAHAHAHA! No, you people are wrong! DEAD wrong! Allow me to educate you!

''Wevv points to the SchizoTron, and Motorhead’s ‘Ace Of Spades” Plays. The LWO graphic is show.

Wevv: THESE! THESE…VILE MISCREANTS! THE LENGENDARY WORLD ORDER! Do you really think it’s coincidence that with the biggest PWA show coming up, advertising their presence is pure chance? How stupid are you people?!?!

Wevv: You blind fools. Pen is not intelligent enough to be responsible for all this chaos. Yet you blind sheep fall all over yourselves lining up to join his “Revolution”. You stupid bastards call for “War!”. But against the true enemy? Oh no, you line up against the ONLY defense you have! You whine and cry about politics and oppression! Humiliation and abuse! Let me tell you something punks, I have put up with far more than you can ever DREAM! I have battled tooth and nail to get where I am today! I have swallowed my pride and said “Yes Sir! No Sir! Whatever you say Sir!” I have been labeled with ridiculous titles! I have worked tirelessly to make this company what it is today! Always the outsider, always viewed with suspicion! But I EARNED my rank! I earned my due! And I have THRIVED! I worked hand in hand with the Club! I MADE them see that my way was better! And YOU! YOU have reaped the benefits of my labor! You ungrateful cocksuckers!

''Wevv is breathing heavy, and turns away from the cameras. The crowd can feel the rage and intensity emanating from Wevv and they feed on it. Wevv turns back to the camera. His eyes are blazing.

Wevv: (his voice cold fury) How dare you? HOW DARE YOU! You want a war? I’ll give you a war! I will BURN THIS VERY COMPANY TO THE GROUND RATHER THAN SEE IT IN YOUR DEGENERATE HANDS! I WILL NOT LET THIS COMPANY BE OVERTAKEN BY A BUNCH OF HAS -BEENS!

Wevv: That’s right! The past has come back to haunt us! Dragging themselves from their cushy retirement, and with a simple graphic, you halfwits fall all over yourselves trying to grab a piece of faded glory! And the ringleader behind it all thinks he can get away with it! On MY watch!

Wevv: Oh yes, I KNOW! I know who is behind the LWO! And I am shocked that you would DARE attempt this! And I know one other thing. I know it was you who attacked Mr. Wang. You may think that being trapped behind a desk has made me soft. Well, my comrade, let me tell you this.

Wevv: I thrive on Chaos. I haven’t felt this alive in months! I can smell the blood in the air, and it calls to me! The call has been made for war, and WEVV MANG WILL ANSWERS IT GLADLY! Misfits, with all your talk of fiery revolution, well, you will reap that firestorm! Witnesses, your prayers will not protect you from MY fury! Pen, I will see you buried! But fear not, I’ll give you a nice, big headstone, with the words “DETERMINATION” on it. Then, after I finish dancing on your grave, I will…well, I’m sure you can figure out the rest.

Wevv: I’m back fools. The truce is over. Welcome to my war. And the frontline is everywhere.

''Wevv pulls off his hat, and his Hawaiian shirt, and throws down his drink. He strikes a pose, and drops his mic, as Yngwie Malmsteen’s “Amberdawn” roars over the PA system.