LPW Insanity LIVE X-Mas Special

LPW Insanity LIVE X-Mas Special was a Christmas-themed professional e-wrestling show presented by Lords of Pain Wrestling on its Insanity brand. It took place on December 8, 2008 at the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota.

The show was headlined by two "Pick Your Present" matches where LPW World Heavyweight Champion cYnical and number one contender X|X could pick the match stipulations for their Honor Roll opponent. X picked his stalker Eddie B. to face cYnical in order to avoid facing him, while cYnical selected Krimson Mask as X's "present".

Background
Hoping to spread Christmas cheer among the Insanity locker-room, newly appointed General Manager Little Red Riding Hood decided to hold the second Insanity show under her reign at the Mall of America so everyone could have the chance of meeting Santa Claus.

The previous week on Insanity LIVE from San Antonio, Son of Shockey, Black Ada, Villiano 187, the height-challenged Lou, Mike Announcer, Tromboner Man, RaTo, and Pen all asked Little Red if they could be named the number one contender to her scorned lover and LPW World Heavyweight Champion, cYnical. Naïve for her authoritative position, Little Red named all of them the number one contender, prompting Villiano to inform her there could only be one number one contender. It was settled that the challenger would be decided in a game of musical chairs. Using a Jack-in-the-box to play "Pop Goes The Weasel", the contest came down to Pen and Tromboner Man. As the two circled the final chair, the lights went out when the Jack popped out of the box. When the lights came back on, both men were laid out, with X|X the only one standing in the ring. With his trademark black steel chair sitting upright, X sat down to claim a World title opportunity at Honor Roll.

Before the X-Mas Special went on the air, Little Red wanted cYnical and X to exchange Christmas gifts. Both men were given the gift to pick each other's opponent and match stipulations for the night, calling it "Pick Your Present" for the Christmas-themed special instead of the classic "Pick Your Poison" moniker. Before making his selection, Inferno's newly crowned LPW Cleansed Champion and X stalker, Eddie B., attacked X from the stands in his Minneapolis hometown. Before having the chance to name Eddie as X's present, X cut-off cYn and named Eddie as cYnical's opponent to avoid facing his rookie rival. Outraged at X's decision, cYnical selected the monstrous Krimson Mask as X's "present".

Event
Before the show took place, the debut of the Insane Asylum took place on a special podcast at LPW.com. On Black Friday, Son of Shockey goated Hatchet Ryda to put up his LPW Hardcore Championship in an unsanctioned 24/7 Hardcore Championship melee throughout the Mall of America. Hatchet, Blackwell, Villiano 187, Lou, Baron von Raschke, Black Ada, Kafudamaha, Eddie Green, and Killswitch all found themselves fighting throughout the four-level shopping center much to the fright of holiday shoppers. Numerous unordinary occurences happened, such as when Blackwell brought a trained tiger to take out Villiano's associates, only to see Lou and the Baron stone the tiger with a blunt. After several title changes, Hatchet regained the Hardcore Championship when he quietly pinned his sleeping Psych Ward stablemate, Blackwell.

When the show went live on the air, the first match of the evening featured a fan favorite encounter between one-half of the LPW Unified Tag Team Champions, Tromboner Man, going one-on-one against former Martinez Cup winner, Pen. In a back-and-forth match, Pen looked to have won after hitting his finisher, the Point Blank Drop. Tromboner Man managed to kick-out, and eventually was able to lock in a Tazzmission. Before Pen could tap, Tromboner Man released the hold and then quickly hit the Intonation Buster to gain the successful pinfall.

Due to the damage done to the mall, Insanity General Manager Little Red called out Blackwell, Villiano 187, Black Ada, Kafudamaha, and Killswitch. Little Red called off the 24/7 Hardcore Championship and changed the stipulations so that she would not get in trouble with mall management and plus, not to get on Santa's Naughty List. The match was changed to a Scavenger Hunt with the objective to bring the dwarf Lou to her in the middle of the ring. The winner would face Hatchet Ryda at Honor Roll for the LPW Hardcore Championship in a one-on-one match.

In the second match of the evening, Wevv Mang returned to an Insanity ring for the first time in two years, facing off against T.J. Rage. Despite the size disadvantage, Mang displayed several new moves to counter Rage's power. After depleting Rage's energy with a Dragon Clutch, Mang debuted the Index 500 to slam Rage to the mat. Mang then introduced the Black Crush, a move made famous by puroresu legend Kenta Kobashi. Mang made the pinfall to cap a successful return to Insanity.

Backstage, X|X confronted Pen after his loss to Tromboner Man. X questioned Pen why he couldn't hit him with a chair during their previous Insanity LIVE main event match, a mistake that X capitalized to earn the victory. Questioning Pen's inner motives for fan support, Pen slammed his locker door in X's face, prompting X to grin.

The third match was a singles match between the once-crazed now-converted Ash Strife against former Heisman Trophy winner Son of Shockey, who was accompanied by Black Ada. Hoping to get on the right path towards righteousness, Strife would take time to help his opponent after an offensive move. But being an opportunist, Shockey used Strife's concern to hit big moves. On the outside, Black Ada spoke to Strife about his master, which turned Strife's demeanor from good to the evil Crazy Ash Killa. With his eyes rolled into the back of his head, CAK decimated Shockey in the ring, finishing him off with the Strife Strike.

Meanwhile during the Scavenger Hunt, Lou was trying to elude his pursuers from the help of a giraffe that was found at Blackwell's Dark Carnival. While at Lego Land, several Insanity superstars tried to capture him. Lou managed to escape when a Lego Tower mysteriously fell onto Killswitch. A man wearing all black sneaked away from the scene, leading to suspicion that Lou was being helped. Later while shopping for baby clothes at Carter's, Lou was ambushed by Blackwell. Before he could be grabbed, Zuma and Genocide took out Blackwell with a double-baby-book-shot. The two tried to capture Lou, who retreated to Santa's Workshop that contained a dozen height-resembling elves. Camoflouging himself with the elves, Zuma and Genocide crashed the Workshop looking for Lou and caused mass panic throughout the mall. Reigning LPW Hardcore Champion Hatchet Ryda came to Blackwell's aid, staring an impromptu hardcore match. After Zuma landed brass knucks to Santa's two front teeth, Hatchet and Blackwell unwrapped several planted Christmas presents which contained barbed wire bats and golf clubs. The Psych Ward used these to bloody their Mexican foes. Genocide unwrapped a present, only to find a speaking Hatchet Ryda action figure that told him to go F himself. Blackwell finished the match by hitting Zuma with Childhood's End on broken Christmas lights. Afterwards, Lou was seen getting away in a Black Hummer.

During a brief intermission, a vignette for the debuting Shock was shown, and SoL presented the world premier trailer of LPW Films first motion picture, "Game Day", starring himself and Lou. Early reviews proved to be a disaster.

The first of two "Pick Your Present" matches was next as X|X picked Inferno superstar, Minneapolis hometown favorite, newly crowned LPW Cleansed Champion, and his unwanted stalker, Eddie B., to face LPW World Heavyweight Champion, cYnical. Feeding off the momentum from his hometown crowd, Eddie rammed cYnical's face into the steel ring pole to bust the champion open. Before Eddie could finish off cYnical with Lowered Expectations, X interrupted the match to announce that he forgot to mention an additional stipulation. With cYnical dripping blood, X said the match was now a First Blood match, forcing the referee to end the match before Eddie could claim a clean pinfall victory over the World Champion. Outraged at X's cowardness, Eddie ran after him in hopes of catching him.

The next scheduled match was The Rabbi participating in his 50th match against Andy Savana in the first semi-final match of The Exciting Adventures of the Transatlantic Championship Tournament. But because Little Red was playing with the production truck's entrance buttons, Fun Police stablemates and Transatlantic opponents RaTo and Daniel Oakley were also mistakenly introduced. With all four semi-finalists in the ring, Little Red told the referee to start both matches simultaneously. After the Fun Police were counted out while they were in the men's room taking a toilet break, the matches were changed to Falls Count Anywhere. RaTo and Oakley found themselves in Al's Farm Toys, while Savana started choking out Rabbi with a necklace at Osterman’s Jewellers. As the Fun Police fought each other with model airplanes, they tripped into Savana and Rabbi. Not happy about the interference, Oakley crashed the toy airplane into Rabbi and RaTo's skulls. Savana followed by hitting Oakley and tripping him down a flight of escalator stairs. Before the matches could get more out-of-control, RaTo grabbed a mic and told them to stop fighting each other since it was stupid. Oakley countered by saying "So is your mom" in one of the biggest burns ever seen in professional wrestling. The burn was so bad that Oakley stood there with the No Effect (which was nothing), making RaTo fall down and knocked Savana over the ledge where he fell onto a promotional car. Oakley curiously pinned RaTo to win his match. Rabbi went down to the car, hit the Hebrew Hammer, and pinned Savana to advance to the finals of The Exciting Adventures of the Transatlantic Championship.

In the final segment of the Scavenger Hunt, Little Red came out to the middle of the ring and called out all the participants. Showing her disappointment that no one could bring her Lou, Villiano 187 came to the ring with a Lane Bryant bag. From out of the bag dropped an unconscious Lou, pleasing Little Red to give Villiano a Hardcore Championship match at Honor Roll. It was revealed that the mysterious man was Baron von Raschke, who assisted Villiano to capture and sell-out his best friend.

The main event was the second of two "Pick Your Present" matches, in which cYnical gifted Krimson Mask as X|X's opponent. After Krimson Mask made his entrance, X was no where to be seen. After several moments, the referee counted-out to award the match to Krimson Mask. Before the show went off the air, X was seen leaving the mall, but was intercepted by Eddie B. X scurried back into the mall, running away until cYnical got in the way. As Eddie and cYnical chased him, X ran back to the ring where Krimson Mask stood over him. With all three adversaries eyeing him down, X managed to escape their grasps until Pen came down to ringside with a steel black chair of his own, spray-painted with PEN on it. Trapped and no where to go, Pen tried to swing his chair at X only to misfire and hit Eddie. As the show went off the air, X and cYnical stared each other down.

Results

 * Before Eddie could hit Lowered Expectations on a bleeding cYnical, X|X came out and announced per "Pick Your Present" stipulations, the match was now a First Blood match. With cYnical already bleeding, Eddie was declared the victor.
 * Insanity general manager Little Red Riding Hood announced the semi-finals of the tournament would take place at the same time.
 * Other participants included Blackwell, Kafudamaha, Black Ada, and Killswitch.
 * Before X could, he was forced into a fight against Eddie B, cYnical, and Pen to end the show.