Promo for Wevv vs. Fixx, Iron Man match

Promo for Wevv vs. Fixx, Iron Man match was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in September 2005 for an Iron Man match against former Wild Cards protege, Sick Fixx at the At All Costs (2005) pay-per-view. It was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years to conclude Wevv's Rise to Power.

Promo
 Backstage at Safeco Field

''The camera fades in on Wevv Mang in his locker room. Wevv is seen starting to tape up his fists. Jonathon Crotchman enters the shot, holding a microphone.

Crotch: Jonathon Crotchman, here, LIVE! With Wevv Mang! WEVV! Buddy! How are you doing?

''Wevv stops his motions, and stares hard at Crotch. He then looks skyward, and resumes slowly, carefully, wrapping his fists again.

Wevv: Crotch, you ignorant piece of scum. Your timing is impeccable. I haven’t the time to deal with as would be proper. So listen, and listen closely. If you wish to truly gain any type of journalistic credibility, do these two simple tasks. Number one, hold the mic. Second and critical task, BE SILENT!

Crotch: Listen Wevv, I’m the Number One Announcer on Schizo! I can always go interview PTP, they know-

Wevv: Crotch?

Crotch: What?

Wevv: Look at me. Look into my eyes.

''Crotch, with an air of arrogance meets Wevv’s cold, dead stare. He opens his mouth, and closes it, as Wevv stares on, unblinking. Finally, Crotch holds out the microphone, so that Wevv can speak into it. Wevv looks down at his fist, and resumes taping.

Wevv: Now, let’s talk about tonight. Let’s talk about the past. There are pieces to the puzzle that have yet to unfold. Let us start at the beginning. When I first came to the PWA, I was aware of the Paradigm’s interest in you Sick Fixx. I knew who they were, and I wondered to myself, what is this organization doing focusing so much time and energy on you? A caricature of a man. A loser. Then I looked closer. Then I saw “IT”. I saw the fire, the passion. And I saw something of myself in you. For I too, had a passion and a drive that more than once caused me to risk my life on what others saw as a foolhardy course of action. The main difference was that mine succeeded while yours were squandered. But, I thought if you had guidance, a mentor, ah, then what could you achieve? What could WE achieve? What would you do if given an opportunity? So I made my offer. And you accepted. And the Plan took a huge step forward.

''Wevv pauses and bites the tape off, and starts on his other hand. Methodically working the tape around his fingers and wrist.

Wevv: So I took you under my wing. I tried to guide you. I tried to teach you. I tried to pass on my hard won lessons. I put up with your complaining. I put up with your constant questioning of my motives. I put up with all of it. Because I thought to myself, he’s learning. Patience. Soon now, it was all fall into place. Then the Plan can really begin. Then, the world will be ours. But that was not meant to be.

Wevv: Instead of understanding, al I was met with was more questions? “Why do I have to team with Norwegian Beast?” Because Norwegian Beast is a wrecking machine. If his rage and power were ever harnessed, he would be unstoppable! But no! Again, questions! Again, insubordination! But some lessons sank in. I saw it that night in Portland! You had the World Champion, the man who has held that title for over a year, BEAT. He was pinned, 1-2-3!! Ah, I was so proud! Yet saddened too. Because I knew what I had to do. I had to destroy what I have created. I needed to put that animal back into it’s cage. For it had bitten me one time too many.

Wevv: Indeed, you have cost me more than you will ever know. First, you cost me pride. At Altered Reality II, we had the Bamma Hamma Slammas beaten. Then you entered the picture. We lost. But I could live with that. Then you cost me my title, and for that, I can never forgive you. Now….

''Wevv has finished wrapping his fists and slams them together. Crotch jumps back. Wevv slowly, oh so slowly, reaches and out steady’s Crotch’s hand and replaces the mic.

Wevv: You have cost me my associate. My most skilled and trusted henchman. My partner in crime if you will. I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve saved each other’s skin. And now, at this moment of my triumph, at this crucial juncture of the Plan, when the endgame is about to begin, you injure him. He will recover. He still bears the scars of Mass Chaos’s attempt to end his career. He came back. Stronger than ever. As he will this time, I am sure. But as Mass Chaos learned, there is a price to be paid.

''Wevv takes the mic from Crotch.

Wevv: For one hour, your LIFE is in MY hands! For ONE HOUR, you are mine! No fluke pinfall will save you! Even luck will fail you, as the luckiest bastard on Earth, Rabbi has learned! For luck runs out! Even with one armed tied behind my back I could still beat you! For as even the most skilled technical wrestler in the PWA has learned, he was no match for a PLAN I will teach you this one final lesson and drive it home. That I AM BETTER THAN YOU!

Wevv: Indeed, you will learn why I am the most feared wrestler in the PWA. You will learn what the Illuminati knew, but failed to understand the scope of. For suddenly they are marked men. Now, everyone is out to get them. Suddenly, everyone (Wevv taps his head and smiles evilly) has a Plan. Heh. Heh. As do I. The stench of their fear is a bouquet of roses to me.

Wevv: But tonight, there's the Plan. And that Plan includes Pain. And the Plan includes suffering. The Plan includes ONE FULL HOUR OF SHEER TORTURE! And that Plan has an ending. Me. Standing over your beaten, bloody, crushed body, watching the light dim from your eyes, and the realization sink in. The realization that Wevv Mang is not to be trifled with. That Wevv Mang is truly, and unquestionably a Legend. That Wevv Mang is simply, purely, Better. Than. You!

''Wevv sneers and shoves the mic hard into Crotch’s chest, and walks out of the dressing room, as the camera fades to black.