The Break-Up and Rebirth of the Wild Cards

The Break-Up and Rebirth of the Wild Cards was an e-wrestling promo written by Wevv Mang in May 2005. It was re-posted as part of The Nearly Complete Works of Wevv Mang - The PWA Years.

Promo
 ''Wevv Mang and Red Dragon move through the backstage area, deep in conversation, heading for the entryway, trailed by Mr. Wang.

Wevv: You know the Plan, Nikolai? You know which part you have to play?

Red Dragon: Da, comrade Wevv. I must say, I am looking forward to this. Those imbeciles have been a weight around our necks far too long. We are tag team champions, da? We have an image to protect.

Wevv: Indeed we do my friend. But whatever happens, do your task, but follow my lead. Understood?

Red Dragon: Da, comrade, we have been over this many times. I will, how you say....roll with the punches?

Wevv: An apt choice of words, comrade, an apt choice indeed.

The two stand in the gorilla position, and as the last words leaves Wevv’s mouth the lights dim and Metallica’s “Orion” ''plays forth. Red Dragon, Wevv, and Mr. Wang step through the curtain.

''Meanwhile, down in the ring, Sick Fixx, Ash Bomb, and Norwegian Beast stand a bit apart and waiting for the arrival of the Wild Cards. The procession is swift, with the surprising switch of Red Dragon lagging behind to taunt and insult he crowd, and Wevv leading the way.

''Unleashed Anarchy steps back as Wevv and Mr. Wang enter, and the languid entrance of Red Dragon, who pauses to hold up his Tag Team Title, and spin to show it to the entire crowd. Wevv stares coldly at the group assembled before him. Mr. Wang hurries to retrieve a mic, while Dragon continues to showboat. As the entrance music fades, a “'''USA! USA! USA!'” ''chant can be heard, which causes Dragon to grin. He checks a card, and then extends his hand. He checks the card again, turning it over, and extends the wrong middle finger. He looks again, and then extends the right one, which causes the crowd to boos loudly. Dragon smiles and nods his head in pride. He takes a place in the corner, behind the assembled Anarchy. Wevv watches with a slight smirk, and raises the mic to speak. Sick Fixx steps forward to say something, but Wevv drives him back with the menace in his voice.

Wevv: Oh no. You're not going to try and explain away ANOTHER defeat are you? You’re not going to try and pin the blame for your loss on my Tag Team partner, Co-Champion, Most Dangerous Technical Wrestler in the PWA, Red Dragon are you!?!

''Dragon beams and flips off the crowd again, but his actions are unseen by Unleashed Anarchy. The crowd however responds with passion. Sick Fixx can only nod his head and voice his unheard objections to Wevv.

Wevv: I WON’T HAVE IT! Not this time! No, the time for excuses is long past! Indeed, now is the time for something that should have been done long ago!

''Unleashed Anarchy tenses and quickly shifts position to protect themselves. But Wevv snaps their attention back to him.

Wevv: PAY ATTENTION WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU CRETINS! How many times must I hear how you should have won, could have won, when the cold reality stares me right in the face, mocking everything I have worked so hard to accomplish! I gave you one task. One. Simple. Task. And you lost. LOST I SAY! DO you have any comprehension of what was at stake?!? I was opposed to it at first, but then it came to me. This was a golden opportunity for us. At long last, we could have infiltrated the Illuminati, and brought them down FROM THE INSIDE, and at long last, sit atop the mountain unchallenged by those who could finally see what we really are. The Most Dominant and Feared Faction in the PWA. And now those worthless morons, the insufferable Prime Time Players get that prize! Our only saving grace from this debacle is that those tools are too stupid to realize what they have! That was your moment Sick Fixx. That was YOUR opportunity to prove to me that you are worthy to bear the title of my Protégé. But that opportunity is in the past.

''Unleashed Anarchy stands motionless. Sick Fixx locked rigid with rage, Ash Bomb tense and ready to spring. Norwegian Beast’s face has darkened with a forbidding scowl. His arms crossed. Wevv’s rage seemingly vanished, to be replaced with cold menace again.

Wevv: So let us talk about the past. You say that I only got where I am now by your help. That I wouldn’t be Tag Team Champions without you. Well the reverse of that statement is true as well. Where were you when I lost the Television Title? Where were you when I went to that podunk outfit called TNA and could have walked out with their Television Championship around my waist? I tied that glorified flunky Black Viper for crying out loud! Do you know what that means? It means that some could say, wrongly so, that he is on MY level! But more importantly, where were you when I was facing Rabbi?

''Wevv has stepped forward, closer to Sick Fixx and stares murder at him. Sick Fixx opens his mouth to speak, but Wevv cuts him off.

Wevv: I’m sorry, what was that? Another excuse? No, we’re past excuses now. Your chances have run OUT!

''With that, Mr. Wang springs forward and strikes NWB with a taser to the back. With a howl of pain he crumples to the mat. Red Dragon leaps forward and clocks Ash Bomb in the back of the head, and then applies a Half Nelson Choke. Ash tries to escape, but Dragon has the hold on tight, and Ash quickly succumbs. Dragon doesn’t release the hold.

''As the attack began, Sick Fixx had turned to see what was going on, but Wevv grabs him and hits the Shakespeare on Ice. Sick Fixx goes down. Wevv kneels on him and pins him to the mat. He picks up the mic again.

Wevv: You! Sick Fixx, I can explain away your incompetence, and blame you lack of success on your “problems”, and in light of your recent “misadventure”, will give you one last, final chance.

''Wevv stands up, and offers his hand to the prone Sick Fixx.

Wevv: It began with a handshake. The Plan can adapt. But the wheat must be separated from the chaff.

''Red Dragon yells something at Wevv. Wevv shakes his head.

Wevv: No comrade, this is between Sick Fixx and myself. Take my hand Sick Fixx. Put things right. It all began with a handshake, don’t be a fool and let it end without one.

''The crowd is chanting for Sick Fixx to say no. But Sick FIxx looks over at the unconscious Ash, and the twitching Norwegian Beast. He stretches forth his hand. Wevv smiles as he leans forward to take it, as the crowd boos heavily.

''But Sick Fixx grabs Wevv’s hand and pulls him to the mat, and tries to slap a choke on Wevv. Wevv uses his elbows to weaken Sick Fixx and break free, while Mr. Wang runs in and tasers Sick Fixx. Fixx twitches, and then is out like a light Wevv gets to his feet again, and straightens his tie. he pics up the mic again.

Wevv: So be it Fixx. I hereby announce that the Wild Cards are through!

''Red Dragon releases Ash Bomb and stands up and slaps Wevv on the shoulder. Together, they raise their titles in the air. And as Yngwie Malmsteen’s “Internaitionale” plays forth, Wevv has one final thing to say:

Wevv: LONG LIVE THE WILD CARDS!