Hide & Seek

Hide & Seek was a promo written by Krimson Mask during July 2006 after the conclusion of the Pyromania 8.1 telecast. During the time, Pyromania General Manager Cher was vacationing while Morpheus served as the night's GM after winning the Escape Artist tournament. The promo was the third telling of The Tales of Krimson Mask promos, and gave further insight regarding the severity of the Krimson Mask character and how he would come to join the Psychotic Wrestling Alliance (PWA).

Promo
     ~ THE TALES OF KRIMSON MASK ~          HIDE & SEEK

''   ~O    nce upon a time, there lived an underground wrestling promotion that was treasured by all the fans who came to see it. Thanks to its promoter named Christopher Xavier, there was no line that Xavier would not cross to please his religious-like fan base. Due to his reputation, he earned the nickname “Our Xavier” among his faithful followers. However, like so many wrestling organizations during this time, the Xtreme Wrestling Congregation (or better known as the XWC) was facing economic hardships. Despite his devoted fan base, the promotion was on the verge of bankruptcy. Christopher Xavier could think of only one option to save the XWC from impending financial collapse.

Xavier : “Cher my darling, thank you for coming. Wow, may I say that you look absolutely fabulous tonight. Pardon my concern, but I was beginning to worry that you wouldn’t arrive tonight.”

''With two bodyguards by her side, the vacationing general manager of Pyromania enters the “luxurious box suite” of Christopher Xavier, which stands over the XWC Sanctuary like some type of glorified monument. Christopher Xavier greets Cher with several peck kisses to her right hand, Pepe Le Pew style. Xavier takes Cher by the hand and directs her to the overview of the XWC Sanctuary and sits her down. On the inside, the suite is adorned with plush cushioned chairs, decorated with bouquets of violet flowers, and is layered with extravagant flooring made of the finest carpentry. On the outside, the “suite” actually looks more like a high school gymnasium’s public announcer’s booth. The booth is plastered with cracking wood and has a “XWC” banner hanging from the window that looks more like an old rectangular carpet rug that just got run over a couple hundred times by an ATV. The arena is shady in its appearance, with just a few headlights to draw attention to ringside. The surrounding structure is made of ice cold concrete. With just a few chairs near ringside, the arena is full with tall aluminum bleachers. The people in the stands though have no care about the meager surroundings as they’re vocal about everything going on in the ring between the competitors of the current match going on.

Cher : “Shut up with the pleasantries Xavier. You’re more full of shit than a bull on Ex-Lax.”

Xavier : “Ooh, you’re so feisty and commanding. I love that in a woman. But what else would I expect from the first lady of professional wrestling…and the most beautiful.”

Cher : “Is there a point to your ass-smooching Xavier.”

Xavier : “Darling, I’m heartbroken. All I was…”

Cher : “Listen Xavier. I’m on vacation. I’m here just as a friendly favor to you. Nothing more. I’m not here for any kind of “recruiting trip” for Pyromania among your roster.”

Xavier : “Cher my darling, how can you assume that…”

Cher : “Xavier, I know what you’re doing already. It’s no secret to me. You’re in some financial problems right now. It’s obvious just looking around here. In this business, when you reach new heights, so do the expenses. Some people can get around it, but the majority can’t. I’m sorry that it happened to you. Truly I am. But you can’t expect to invite me to one of your events, kiss my ass, and expect me to give you some money in exchange for some of your guys. That’s what you always do when you’re in a bind. The truth is this. Your guys in the XWC just don’t have what it takes to be on Pyromania. I don’t need them on my show. Stop trying to be the conniving bastard you always are when you get stuck in situations like this.”

Xavier : “Conniving? Me? I can’t believe that you feel this way about me. I know we haven’t been on the friendliest of terms lately, but you and I go way back. Remember back to our college days. You never would have gotten the grades you got when we studied together for that business principles management course. Or remember when we…”

Cher : “Don’t bring up our dating days. That’s long over.”

Xavier : “I’m not darling.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “Xavier dear, I know you mean well. But I’m just trying to enjoy my vacation. This isn’t a PWA job fair. You’re sugarcoating your intentions with vinegar. Listen, I got a lot of things on my mind. Altered Reality III is coming up soon and I need to determine qualifying matches for Pyromania’s tag teams against Schizo. Then, there’s Morpheus who just was general manager at 8.1 and I’m sure I’ll have to clean his mess. And of course, there’s always Son of Repoman…”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “Cher my love, I’m sure everything will be fine. Just relax and enjoy the show. The next match is just about to begin. I’m sure this match will be one that you will never forget.”

Korn’s “Freak on a Leash” ''blares through the XWC Sanctuary as smoke fills the entrance-way. Out of the gray fog emerges a man with greasy black hair and a three-striped goatee. The wrestler is geared with black leathered pants, black MMA gloves, and a black crest blazed with a growling bulldog across his chest. The guy looks like some sort of modern, BDSM He-Man with the garb covering him. He carries two chains in both of his hand with the chains leading to the smog as two women dressed in dominatrix outfits emerge with collars around their necks. The steel chains that the wrestler carries are leashed to the collars around the two busty women. The “Bondaged Bitches” as they’re called, walk with an innocent young girl with her hands handcuffed.

Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, making his way to the ring, accompanied by his “Bondaged Bitches”, weighing in tonight at 265 pounds, this is…THE UGLY BULLDOG!

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “This guy is one of the best kept secrets in professional wrestling, Cher. Look at that physique. The International Heavyweight Championship would look perfect around his waist.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “There you go again.”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “…Or maybe the Western States Heritage Championship.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “Cut it out already.”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “I’m just telling you what a great prospect this guy will make for someone.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “If you start one more time, I’m walking out of here Xavier. I mean it. I don’t need this crap from you.”

''The “Bondaged Bitches” and young girl walk in front of Ugly Bulldog as he nears the ring. The women walk up the stairs and sit on the ropes for Ugly Bulldog to easily enter the squared circle. Bulldog gestures to the rabid crowd and grabs the microphone from the ring announcer.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “I just had to get something off my chest. For weeks, I've been asked the same thing from the same people. 'What the hell is wrong with you, Bulldog? Why are you obsessed with leashing up the beautiful women of the XWC? Why must you punish and dominate over every woman you possess? They are not your slaves.' That seems to be all I hear about. Frankly, that talk is getting old for me."

''Bulldog grabs a dog collar out of his pocket and disturbingly begins smelling it.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : "You want to know why I do it. Well, not only is it pleasurable for me, but it's a way to symbolize my dominance over the entire XWC."

''With the dog collar and leash in hand, Bulldog walks over to the young handcuffed girl, who's kneeling down and anxiously awaiting for her new master. Bulldog stands over her and begins to, ever so slowly, apply the dog collar around her soft neck.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : "You see, right now this promotion is in a period of transition. I’ve been the most dominant wrestler in the history of the XWC.  I’ve had a firm grip on this whole promotion since the first day I came in.  I am the master.  Everyone else has been my slave."

''Bulldog then quickly tightens the dog collar around the girl's neck as she gasps from the sudden loss of breath. He grabs a hold of the leash and pulls her in his direction.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : "I’ve been draggin' the XWC around by the throat. My dominance is unheralded.  No one can stop me.  There’s only two things my opponents can do.  You can either enjoy my dominance..."

''Bulldog aggressively tugs on the girl's leash as she falls on the ground face first. He grabs her hair, picks her up and throws her into a turnbuckle. The girl starts gasping from the excitement and begins to smile as Bulldog explores his hands over her trapped body.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : "...or you can resist my domin…"

''The Sanctuary’s speakers pick up a beat as some generic music reverberates around the building. Out of the curtain debuts a skinny little masked luchadore. Ugly Bulldog looks at his opponent and rolls his eyes. The luchadore enters the ring with Bulldog staring him down with a microphone in his right hand and steel chair in his left hand.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Kid, I’m gonna ask you a simple question, and you better have the right answer. Alright?”

Luchadore: “Si.”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “I am the Key Master, are you the Gate Keeper?”

Luchadore: “Que?”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Wrong answer!”

''Bulldog drops the mic and swings the steel chair into the luchadore’s masked face. The chair bounces of his cranium making a deafening thudding noise. Bulldog then swings the chair up and down repeatedly on the pounded little masked jobber. After the aggression has left his body, Bulldog grabs the mic again and looks up to the box suite of Christopher Xavier.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Xavier, throw me a bone here. I’m sick of this jobber crap. I got poopers that can put up a tougher fight than most of these guys. Do you have anyone in this building who can put up a challenge against me? I’ve mastered every competitor you’ve ever thrown at me.

''In the XWC Sanctuary’s box suite, Xavier stands up and takes a microphone. He stands over the masses like some kind of Roman king addressing his people.

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “Hey Ugly Bulldog. You’re right. For far too long, you’ve been punishing those who have had no business in the XWC. But tonight, I think I may have just found the perfect someone for you. Apparently there’s a person here who believes the XWC is inferior to another brand of professional wrestling. A person who believes you are not World Championship material. A person...who is sitting right next to me. The one, the only, the General Manager of Pyromania, CHER!”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “What are you doing Xavier?”

''Xavier pulls a tape recorder out of his dress jacket and puts it to the microphone. He turns on the play button and the comments made earlier by Cher echo throughout the arena. “The truth is this. Your guys in the XWC just don’t have what it takes to be on Pyromania. I don’t need them on my show. Stop trying…”

''The crowd instantly turns on Cher’s comments and unmercifully boos the Pyromania general manager and starts chanting “FUCK HER ASS! FUCK HER ASS!”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “You son of a bitch. I can’t believe you tape recorded that. You’ll be hearing from my attorney. I’m outta here.”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “I don’t think so.”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Get Her Down Here!”

''Two Xavier bodyguards enter the suite and put guns up to the heads of Cher’s bodyguards. Two other Xavier bodyguards grab Cher and carry her out of the suite with Xavier following close behind them. They carry her through the crowd and throw her into the ring. Despite the struggles of Cher, she’s helpless in front of a violent mob crowd.

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “What do you think you’re doing Xavier?”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “I’m making a statement darling. As they say, you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “You pile of crap. Once Pyromania hears about this, the entire roster will kill you and your little promotion.”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “Not if everyone thinks you were a traitor to Pyromania by coming to an XWC event. Sorry Cher, I got everything covered. Your death will be the gateway to the incoming cash flow we’ll receive from fans around the world. After the wrestling world hears what happened to you here, the masses will tune in to see our product. Sorry Cher, this is nothing personal. It’s just business.”

''Ugly Bulldog takes a leash from one of his “Bondaged Bitches” and applies it around Cher’s neck. He tightens the collar extra tight.

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “Get this thing off me. ‘Cough’ Don’t you know who I am?”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Yeah, I know who you are. You’re my bitch.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “Let me go you pervert. What’s wrong with you? You can’t beat up every women you lay your eyes on.”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Oh give me a break. I’m just doing a favor to the female species. It’s obvious that women want to be beaten up. It comes from a psychological complex developed when they were kids and their daddy spanked them. It turned them on! Hell, if chics had their choice, they would want to be spanked by their daddies all day long. Why do you think chics go to the bathroom in pairs? They pretend to be each other's daddy! They are spanking each other! And now we’re gonna spank you, bitch. I’m your new daddy.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “Fuck Off!”

''One of Bulldog’s Bitches goes down on Cher as her hands are handcuffed behind her while her head is leashed to the ring ropes. One of the “Bondaged Bitches” goes down on Cher. The girl rises back up with Cher’s black thong in hand. The men in attendance respond with constant whistling.

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “Come on Cher. This shouldn’t be anything new to you. Isn’t this exactly how you got the GM job in the first place?

''Bulldog pulls a mouth gag piece from around his attire and presses it into Cher’s mouth. Cher tries to fight back, but it’s no use. Bulldog and Xavier have complete control of her.

''All of a sudden, the lights in the arena begin flickering. The arena becomes submerged in…

''…Darkness.

''The lights have been cut out.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “What the hell Xavier, did you forget to pay the electric bill this month?”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “I did pay that.”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Then who the fuck turned the lights off?”

''The lights come back on, much to the relief of Xavier. But this time, someone new is in the ring.

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “Hi there.”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “What the hell? Who are you?”

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “My name is Little Red Riding Hood. Who are you?”

''Xavier and Bulldog look at each other. A satanic smile creeps across Ugly Bulldog’s face. He gives a wink to Xavier, thinking this is just another young girl for Bulldog’s sexual amusement. Bulldog goes along for what he thinks is the role-play. Xavier just stands there. His pants get a little tighter. Cher tries to motion at Little Red Riding Hood to get away from her assailants, but she can’t do anything in her suppression.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “My name is Ugly Bulldog. How did an innocent little girl like you end up at a place like here?”

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “I’m looking for my Grandmother’s house, but it is no where to be seen. I believe that I am lost. Could you point me in the right direction?”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Oh yeah, I can point you in the right direction all right. But first, would you like to join us for a little game?”

''Bulldog grabs another leash from his pocket and hides it behind his back so Little Red Riding Hood can’t see it.

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “Oh why yes I would. I love playing games. When I’m at Grandmother’s, we always play Hide & Seek. It is a lot of fun, especially when there’s a lot of people to play with. Can we play Hide & Seek? Pretty pleeeeeeeeeeease?

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Hmmmm, Hide & Seek huh? I think we can arrange something like that.”

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “Oh that is great! I’ll be It to start. Are you ready?”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Oh yeah, we’re all ready.”

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “Okay. I’ll count to ten. Here we go.”

''Little Red Riding Hood stands face first toward a turnbuckle, closes her eyes, and begins counting.

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “One-alligator, two-alligator, three-alligator…”

''Bulldog smirks to the crowd and pulls out a leash from his leathered pants. He begins to slowly tip-toe over to the helpless girl in red.

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “…four-alligator, five-alligator, six-alligator, seven-alligator…”

''Bulldog is now breathing on her neck, savoring the moment she turns around and applies his fetish habit of leashing women by the neck.

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “…eight-alligator, nine-alligator, ten-alligator! Hee hee hee HEE HEE HEE! READY OR NOT, HERE HE COMES!”

''The lights begin to flicker again and turn off. Blackness.

''Everyone in the arena becomes silent due to reoccurring light problem. Things become too quiet. The swift noise of heavy footsteps is heard in the ring. A sudden shriek is heard for a moment before a voice is cut off. Then another. And another. And another. And another.

''The lights come back on. The pupils in the fans’ eyes try to readjust to the light. Looking around, the setting in the ring is completely different. Unexplainably, the three Bondaged Bitches are now dangling over the top rope with their leashes tied to the top rope, their feet dangling above the ringside floor. The women gasp for air as they choke on their collars. Xavier’s bodyguards in the ring have been transferred. Their bodies now are hogtied to the ring’s steel posts, wrapped around by a dog leash. The anxious Ugly Bulldog and Christopher Xavier are left alone in the ring with the tied-up Cher. Little Red Riding Hood is nowhere to be seen. Bulldog walks over to Cher and takes out her gag piece.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “What’s going on? What the hell just happened? Hey, where did the girl disappear to?”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “Who the hell is that girl Cher? Who’s see with? Is she with cYnical? Is that how she did that disappearing act? Or is it some kind of dream trick from Morpheus? Wait. I know who it is. It’s Bloodrose, isn’t it? This is right up his alley with all his whorish vampires.”

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “I’m not with anyone you son of a bitch. But I’m beginning to think you’re with Zuma, since I’m sure you guys are smoking his blunt.”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “You sarcastic whore…”

''The lights turn out again as Xavier stops in mid-sentence. Everyone in the Sanctuary stirs from the reoccurring darkness. The maniacal laughter of a little girl’s voice begins to boom from the arena’s speakers as the lights begin to flicker on and off, on and off, on and off, on and off at rapid speed, Freaky Friday-style.

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “HEE HEE HEE HEE HEEEEE!”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “What the hell Xavier. I thought she was with you.”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “Me? I thought she was with you. You always have to play your fetish fantasies in the ring.”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “All I know is this is getting fuckin’ crazy. This is just some kind of trick from Pyro. I’m not gonna be embarrassed in my moment of fame. Whoever this girl is, I’ll beat her ass all over this building. I’m head and shoulders above anyone in this building, especially some little psychotic girl.”

''The on and off flickering lights stop. The arena returns to complete blackness. The dark blankets the arena again. No one can see a single thing.

'THUD!

''The ring’s canvas sinks down in an abrupt moment. There’s someone else in the ring now. Bulldog and Xavier’s noses are met with a foul odor smell that resembles a slaughterhouse with a touch of sulfur. They feel heavy breathing creep down their necks, sending tremors down their spines. Their knees are shaking harder than an earthquake.

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “Xavier.”

<span style="color:#;">Xavier : “Huh?”

<span style="color:#;">Bulldog : “What’s behind us?”

''The two men look behind them, only to be blinded by pitch blackness. There hearts begin racing faster than a car in the Indy 500. Both feel like their hearts want to tear out of their bodies and run as far away as possible. They hear a pissed-off growl. Little Red Riding Hood’s voice echoes from the speakers again:

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “HEE HEE HEE HEE! NOW YOU’RE IT!”

''The lights turn back on.

''A large axe swings across the chest of Ugly Bulldog. SLICE! The head and shoulders of Ugly Bulldog decapitates off the rest of his body and flies across the arena, leaving a red rainbow of gory blood raining over the arena. Those in attendance start screaming and panicking at the sight of the Krimson Mask monster in the ring and the flying half body of the XWC’s most dominant wrestler in the bleachers. The horrified crowd stampedes out of the XWC Sanctuary like a herd of overly-hyper buffalo, running over each other to get away from the terror.

''Meanwhile back in the ring, the massive semi-truck shoulders of Krimson Mask towers over a shaking Christopher Xavier. Xavier looks up at Krimson Mask. His body is paralyzed with fright. The mute monster slowly raises his axe and SLICE! The blade guillotines through Xavier’s body, completely splitting his body apart like it was a zipper. Blood begins to pour out as the liquid floods the ring. Krimson Mask cups his hand in the pool of red liquid by the divided head of Xavier and pours it over his disguised face.

''The flood of blood spreads to the side of the ring that Cher is leashed to. She’s screaming at the top of her lungs. Krimson Mask notices the damsel in distress and angrily trudges toward her. He steps in front of the imprisoned woman. Krimson Mask raises his mighty axe over his head once again. Cher closes her eyes. She sees every moment of her life flash before her. Krimson Mask drops his axe right at Cher’s head!

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

'SLICE!

''Cher opens one eye. Then the other. Her leash has been cut off.

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “Hi there. So, I hear you’re the general manager of Pyromania?”

''Cher is hyperventilating from the stimulating teased death experience. She tries to regain her composure without much success.

<span style="color:#;">Cher : “…yeah.”

<span style="color:#;">Little Red : “We need to talk.”